But that’s precisely why I’m here. To forget that kiss.
“You better not have picked something cheesy,” I warn as I head toward the stage.
Joshua grins. “You’re about to find out.”
I take the mic, my palms damp, heart racing. This is scarier than I expected. Scarier than sleeping alone in the desert. Scarier than quitting my job and telling my family I was leaving, despite their threats to cut me off financially.
The music starts and the opening notes to Lizzo’s “Good as Hell” fill the bar.
At least it’s something I know. And quite well. This has sort of been my anthem over the past year.Whenever I’ve doubted if I did the right thing by leaving the only home I’ve ever known to finally live my life, I put this song on and immediately feel better. On the surface, it’s about a breakup, but for me, it’s about rebuilding and choosing myself.
The first verse is a little shaky, but every time my nerves spike, I look at the table. Claire and Dylan dance while Joshua sings along, smiling like he picked this song just for me.
By the chorus, I smile too.
It feels…freeing. Like sunrise yoga. Like driving with the windows down and no destination plugged into my GPS.
When I finish, the bar cheers, and I jump off the stage.
Joshua pulls me into a hug. “That was great.”
“It felt good,” I admit. “Who knew singing in front of strangers could be so cathartic?”
“It’s all about the song choice,” he says, winking.
We stay a little longer, the high from performing keeping me going. But after a while, the adrenaline fades and exhaustion creeps in.
Once Claire finished her performance of “Father Figure”, which Dylan chose for her, I push back from the table and stand.
“I’m going to call it a night. I have a full day of keeping a toddler entertained tomorrow.”
“Would you like a ride home?” Joshua offers, pulling himself to his full height.
Claire drove me here since I took a rideshare to her mom’s house for dinner.
While my van is convenient for traveling across the country, it can be a bit difficult driving it around town, especially squeezing it into tight parking spaces. Lately, I’ve been using Hayden’s spare car to drive Jemmy to the library or the park, but I didn’t feel right asking to borrow his car today, since it wasn’t technically related to my job.
“You don’t have to.”
“I don’t mind.” Joshua shrugs. “I’m kind of tired, too, and it’s on my way home. No sense taking an Uber when I drive right by your street.”
“Oh. Okay. If you’re sure.”
Joshua gives me a small smile. “I’m sure.”
I say my goodbyes to Dylan and Claire with promises to do this again sometime soon. Then I follow Joshua out of the bar.
Outside, the air is crisp and cold, invigorating in the best way. He steers me toward a pickup truck and opens the passenger-side door, helping me in before running around to get behind the wheel.
“It’s so quiet,” I remark as he drives through the mostly empty streets. If this were Chicago, it would still be bumper-to-bumper traffic.
“Small towns may not be for everyone, but I like it.”
“Have you always lived here?” I ask, studying his silhouette. Strong jaw. Full lips. Thick, dark hair. And from what I was able to see during his performance earlier, he has a fairly built physique. He’d have to, considering he works as the head groundskeeper at the local inn.
“More or less. I went away to college for a year, butthen my mom was diagnosed with cancer so I came home and took care of her.”
I nod, not pressing the topic further since I already know how that ended. His mother passed away earlier in the year.
