“It was incredible,” she replies. “The food. The art. The history. It felt…layered. Like the place had lived a lot of lives.”
Joshua smiles. “Sounds amazing.”
She meets his eyes. “It was.”
I shouldn’t care how he’s looking at her. Or how easily she laughs at something he says under his breath. Joshua’s a good person. One of my sister’s closest friends. Practically family.
But I can’t deny the truth.
Iwant to be the one who makes her laugh.
The one she curves toward.
The one who can touch her without it being wrong.
Jude nudges my knee under the table before leaning close. “If looks could kill.”
I snap my gaze to him. “What?”
“The way you’re shooting daggers at poor Josh.”
“I’m doing no such thing,” I respond, taking a long pull from my beer.
Rowan laughs again, unguarded and bright, and it’s impossible not to look.
Or, more accurately, glare, especially as Joshua inches closer to her.
“They’d make a cute couple, don’t you think?” Jude remarks.
“Who?” I ask, even though I know.
“Josh and Rowan. He’s clearly into her. Has barely looked at anyone else since we sat down to eat. Then again, neither have you.”
“I’m not into her,” I say defensively. “And Rowan’s free to date anyone she wants.”
The words taste wrong. Bitter.
Because the idea of Joshua touching her,kissingher, sets something off inside me. Something hot and possessive.
I never felt this way about Cora.
Why do I feel this way about Rowan?
“I said the same thing about Abbey,” Jude continues, not dropping it. “Our situations are pretty similar when you think about it. She was also my employee who lived with me.”
“I’m not attracted to Rowan,” I lie.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He pauses. “Want my advice?”
“No.” I take another long gulp of my beer, trying to look anywhere but at Rowan. But my eyes keep finding her.
“Too bad,” Jude retorts. “Stop telling yourself all the reasons you don’t deserve to be happy and just let yourself be happy. However that looks for you.”
I shift my eyes forward, immediately reminded of my conversation with Rowan last night. About the things that spark joy for me.
My kids.
Rowan.
