“You’re not wrong about that,” I mutter, my gaze flicking to where my father-in-law stands across the room, his posture rigid, expression perpetually displeased.
“But is that whatyouwant? Is that what Cora would want for you?”
I groan, taking another swallow of the beer. “You sound like Mom.”
“As much as I hate to admit this, she’s right. Do you really want to keep going on like this?”
“It’s…hard,” I admit, my shoulders sagging.
“I get it.” His expression softens. “After Krista and I lost the baby, I didn’t think I’d ever open my heart again. Didn’t want to. Kept everyone out. Told myself it was safer that way. And then Abbey walked into my bar wearing a wedding dress.”
A smile curves his mouth. He looks so different from the man he was less than a year ago. He was cynical. Bitter. Closed off.
Sort of like I am now.
“Some people just…get in,” Jude continues. “Whether you want them to or not. I’ve learned that you can try to keep people out all you want, but there are some people who’ll weasel their way in regardless. And when that happens, there’s no fighting it.”
With every word Jude speaks, I can’t help but think of Rowan.
How she weaseled her way into my life so effortlessly.
How I think of her more than I should.
How I crave her presence to the point that I eagerly accepted her offer to come today.
I told myself it was to help with the kids. And while she definitely has, the real reason I wanted her here is for me.
“I just… I’m not ready,” I say, averting my gaze. “It’s too soon.”
Jude tilts his head. “Are you saying that because it’s true… Or because you don’t think you’re allowed to move on?”
I part my lips to remind him yet again that it’s only been a year since I’ve buried my wife. But why do I think it’s too soon? Because I truly believe it? Or because I feel like I’m dishonoring her memory by opening myself up to the possibility of someone new?
As if able to read my thoughts, Robert heads my way, seemingly on a mission.
Jude notices it, too.
“Something to think about,” he says before stepping away, leaving me to deal with my father-in-law on my own.
“As if it’s not bad enough you brought another woman to your wife’s memorial, you’re also drinking, too?” he snips out.
I pinch my lips into a tight line, swallowing down what I really want to say. I have to remember this is mykids’ grandfather. And Cora’s dad. She may not have had the best relationship with him for reasons I now understand, but he’s still family.
“Rowan is the kids’ nanny.” I keep my voice as even as possible. “Nothing more.”
“The people at the church don’t know that. They see you walk in with an attractive young woman like that, one who your kids seem to adore and who’s been living with you, and what other conclusion would they draw?”
“The correct one,” I snap. “My kids adore her because she’s a good nanny. And she lives in the in-law apartment in my house so I can handle any emergency calls that come in. If your friends draw the wrong conclusion, that’s on them. Not me.”
His eyes narrow. “And the sign language?”
My jaw ticks. Of course he’d bring that up.
“I told you it was a bad idea,” he continues. “You’re encouraging this…behavior.”
“Behavior?” I scoff. “She’s a child who experienced trauma.”
For someone who’s made a career out of supposedly helping people, he’s always been narrow minded. Then again, Robert’s from a different generation and mindset. He became a doctor because of the prestige attached to it. Unlike me, who worked my ass off to become a doctor because the perpetual idealist in me wanted to help people.
