My lifeline, if I’m being honest.
While my job at the family medical practice isn’t as demanding as working at a busy metropolitan hospital, I’m still floundering.
Still trying to figure out how to be everything my kids need now that their mom is gone.
Still scared I’m screwing everything up.
“Where’s Grace?” Dylan asks as she whisks together pancake batter from scratch. No box. No instructions.
I’m not surprised. Sheisthe professional. It’s part of the reason I find myself in this predicament.
While my sister happily dropped everything to help me in the aftermath of Cora’s death, it’s been almost a year. She put her own dreams on hold for me. It’s time for her to finally pursue her dreams, even if it’s made things difficult for me.
“Didn’t work out,” I respond.
“That’s…what? Your fourth nanny in two months?” She pours batter onto the griddle with ease.
“Fifth,” I correct.
“And why did this one leave?” She smooths a tendril of blonde hair behind her ear.
I glance at Presley, who’s back to sketching, focused and far away.
“I see,” Dylan says without me having to explain.
Presley can be a lot.
Despite every single nanny I’ve hired having great qualifications, none have been all that understanding when it comes to Presley’s refusal to speak.
Granted, I also get frustrated at times, but there’s a reason for it. The last words she ever spoke were to her mother. Speaking would mean admitting she’s gone.
I still struggle with admitting it myself.
“Who’s watching them today?” Dylan asks.
“Abbey’s taking Jemmy. I’ll drop Presley at school first.”
Over the past year, my village has grown quite a bit, thanks to each of my brothers falling in love and settling down. Between Haley, Abbey, and Genevieve, as well as my mom and brothers, I’m usually able to find someone to watch them.
But I hate the instability.
I thought hiring a nanny would give them some sort of routine and might help Presley finally speak, as her therapist suggested.
But not a single nanny I’ve hired has been a good fit.
“What are your plans for hiring a replacement?” she asks as she heats up a fresh pot of oatmeal for Jemmy.
“I’m not sure. I can see if Jeannie or Robert have another recommendation.”
“Because their recommendations have worked so far,” she snorts, her disdain for my in-laws apparent.
They’re not bad people, but Dylan tends to blame them for why I left emergency medicine.
It was Robert’s dream that Cora would eventually return to Sycamore Falls and take over the medical practice that’s been in his family since this town was settled in the 1800s. Moving back here and taking her place was the least I could do, considering it’s my fault she’s gone.
I’m a doctor trained in emergency medicine. I’ve saved countless lives.
But when it really mattered, I couldn’t even save my own wife.
