So I let her walk away.
Because it felt safer.
But the house doesn’t feel safe.
It feels empty.
Presley barely looks at me at dinner. She pushes food around her plate and retreats to her room early. Jemmy asks for Rowan at least a dozen times a day. I’ll eventually have to tell them the truth, but it’s still too raw.
“Earth to Hayden.”
I snap out of my thoughts and dart my eyes to my brother.
Jude sits across from me at the kitchen table, one eyebrow raised. “Did you hear a single word I just said?”
“Sorry.” I take a slow sip of the beer he brought over, a fresh brew of something new he’s been working on. “What did you say?”
The last thing I wanted tonight was company. But Jude showed up after the kids went to bed with a six-pack of beer and a bottle of scotch.
“I was just saying how I drew the short straw.”
“Short straw?” I furrow my brows. “For what?”
“To come and talk to you.” He leans closer, his concerned gaze meeting me. “What’s going on? What happened with Rowan? Why did she leave?”
I stare at my bottle and push out a long sigh. “Because she’s dying.”
The words feel dramatic and wrong, but they’re true. Sheisdying. And there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it from happening.
There’s nothingIcan do to stop it from happening.
“What makes you say that?”
I take another large swallow of my beer. “Because she is.”
He shakes his head, furrowing his brow. “Explain.”
“She had a heart transplant. She’s stable now, but a transplant is more like a twenty-year bandage than a permanent fix.”
“And that’s why she left?”
“She didn’t want the kids to lose someone else.” My jaw tightens. “Didn’t want me to go through that again.”
Jude studies me. “And what did you say?”
I hesitate, searching for an answer to his questionthat doesn’t make me look like a complete asshole. But there isn’t one.
“Nothing.”
“What do you mean?” Jude presses.
“Exactly that. I said fucking nothing, Jude. I just stood there as she walked away, and I didn’t fight for her. I did nothing.”
“Why? Why didn’t you stop her? It’s obvious you didn’t want her to leave.”
I shoot to my feet and storm toward the counter, grabbing the scotch and drinking straight from the bottle, hoping to dull the ache in my chest.
“Of course I didn’t. But when she told me the truth…” I shake my head and turn to face him. “I saw Cora. Saw the machines. Heard the monitors. And being the selfish bastard I am, the only thing I thought was how I can’t do that again. I can’t watch someone I love fade away.”
