I spin on my heels and make my way to my rental car. Every voice in my head urges me to stop. That I’m making a mistake. That if I get in that car and drive away, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
But I’ll regret allowing her into my heart and having her obliterate it more.
“So that’s it?”
Her tone forces me to stop. I hesitate for a beat, not moving. Then I glance over my shoulder. “What do you mean?”
She advances toward me and I fully face her. “This.” She gestures between our bodies. “You’re really okay with it ending?”
“I told you when we started this I couldn’t give you more than this week. You said you were okay with that.”
“I thought I was.” She pulls her lips between her teeth, briefly floating her eyes to the sky, attempting to get her emotions under control. “But what if you’re the solution I asked for?”
I blink repeatedly. “What are you talking about?”
The wind blows around us, kicking up her familiar scent of apples and cinnamon. And me. My mark has been left on her. I shouldn’t like that as much as I do.
“I’m talking about manifestation. I know you think it’s crazy, that you can’t just put something out into the universe and expect it to give you what you want. But what if your being here is the universe giving me what I need?”
“I don’t—”
“I wasn’t going to say anything. I had every intention of just letting you walk away and focusing on what’s important. Or, at least, what Ithoughtwas important.
“But maybe I’ve been wrong about all of it. I’ve been fighting and fighting to save this place. To save Christmas. To save my memories of my parents. But in doing so, I’ve been clinging to the past. Been living in it. Maybe you coming into my life and making me feel things I didn’t think possible is the universe telling me it’s okay to let go of the past.”
She grabs my hand in hers, electricity coursing through me from the contact, despite both of our hands being covered with gloves.
“And maybe it’s okay foryouto let go of the past, too.”
My chest squeezes, emotion welling in my throat. I want to give her the answer she deserves more than anything. But I’ve been here before.
Gave my heart to someone, only for them to completely decimate it. Sadie and I had planned our life together. I’d started a damn baby book, wrote letters to my unborn child that I planned to share with him when he was older. Bought onesies that said Daddy’s Little Sidekick. Spent hours designing the perfect nursery.
And all along, Sadie knew I wasn’t the father.
I can’t put myself through that again.
Won’tput myself through that again.
“We agreed,” I say, the uncertainty in my voice betraying me. “One week. Nothing more.”
I start to turn from her, but before I can, she advances on me again.
“Why, Callum? Give me one good reason why you refuse to give us a chance and I’ll walk away and never look back. But I need a reason.” She lifts her tear-filled eyes to mine. “Please. I think you owe me that much.”
I want to tell her I don’t owe her anything. But some outside force takes over, pushing me to finally give voice to my biggest fears.
“Because I can’t stomach the thought of losing you like I did Sadie,” I admit through the unbearable ache consuming me.
My entire body vibrates with every single emotion I’ve kept buried for the past week. Hell, for the past several years.
“Because I can’t deal with the idea of planning a life with you, only for it not to work out in the end. Because I know it’ll be a hundred times worse based on the crazy way I’ve—” I stop short.
“With the way you’ve what, Callum?” she presses, touching her hand to my arm, not allowing me to escape this.
I blow out a long sigh. “That I’ve fallen for you.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.” She reaches for my cheek, but I push out of her hold before I can fall under her spell again.
