“We’ll see about that.” She waggles her brows as she nods toward the barn entrance.
Haley and I follow her line of sight to see Callum standing there, looking more delicious than he did earlier, if that’s even possible. His dark hair is neatly groomed, but in a sexy sort of way, his suit clinging to his body in all the right places. One thing is certain. Callum Reed knows how to wear a suit. And he wears it so damn well.
“Holy Mr. Sex in a Suit,” Haley exhales.
I playfully swat her. “You’re not helping.”
“Grandma Estelle told me how good looking he was, but damn… He’s got to be packing under that.”
“I’m guessing a solid six,” Estelle states, not taking her eyes off him, as if she has x-ray vision.
“Just six?” Haley arches a brow.
“Darling, six is more than sufficient. All these modern romance novels waxing poetic about a monster pecker don’t know what they’re talking about.”
“Pecker?” I stifle my laugh.
“Have you ever taken out a ruler and seen what eight or ten inches is? That would land me in the hospital. And not because I’m old. There’s nowhere for a ten-inch ding-dong to go, other than to impale me in half.”
“I could think of worse ways to go than death by penis,” Haley responds, as if this were a completely normal conversation. “Especially if the orgasm is commensurate with the size of his ding-dong, as you put it.”
“Are we seriously talking about this right now?” I ask through gritted teeth. “I’m trying to run a respectable, family-friendly business, and you two are talking about monster…peckers.”
“In the size sense,” Estelle clarifies. “Not as in belonging to a literal monster.”
Haley tilts her head. “Is that a thing?”
“Oh, sweetie.” She places a hand on Haley’s forearm. “Monster erotica is most definitely a thing. Alien, too.”
“Seriously?”
“I don’t joke about my naughty books, sweetie. Do you know what’s great about throwing some sort of fantastical creature, like a monster or an alien, into the mix?”
“What’s that?” Haley leans closer to Estelle.
“Normal rules don’t apply. Anatomically speaking.” She gives her a knowing look.
Haley’s jaw drops. “You mean…”
“Multiple ding-dongs.”
I pinch my eyes shut, feigning annoyance. But if reading monster erotica makes Estelle happy, who am I to yuck on her yum? After over eighty years on this planet, she’s earned the right to enjoy whatever she wants.
“When did it become normal to discuss alien or monster sex with Grandma Estelle?” I murmur to no one at all.
“Speaking of monster dicks…” Haley nudges me, nodding toward Callum as he moves in my direction, the crowd seeming to part for him.
“Or, more accurately, one giant dickhead,” I mutter before plastering a congenial expression on my face, ignoring the way my pulse kicks up with every inch he erases between us until he’s standing less than a foot away.
“Ms. Holley,” he greets cordially.
“Mr. Reed. I’m so glad you could make it. I wasn’t sure if you’d actually show up. At the very least, I figured you’d leave once you realized what you’d agreed to when you were ogling me.”
“I did no such thing,” he argues, not so much of a hint of embarrassment about him.
“The only reason you’re here is because you weren’t paying attention earlier.”
His grin becomes even more playful. Even more devious. Even more sinful.
