Her words stung. She might as well have slapped him across the face.
‘I was only trying to look out for you. What’s he doing here? Why did he want to see you?’
‘Not that it’s any of your business,’ said Kitty, ‘but I’ll tell you if it’ll get you off my back.’ She stared out to sea, her lips pressedtight. When she spoke, her voice had softened. ‘He came to tell me that my stepdaughter is… she’s ill… very ill. They don’t know what’s wrong with her, and it’s a huge worry. She’s been in and out of hospital, and I feel awful I haven’t been there for her.’ Kitty gazed at the sand.
Nick wanted to comfort her. ‘You understand that’s not your fault, right?’
‘I left her.’ Kitty’s tone silenced the arguments on his tongue.
He tried a different tack. ‘Could he be lying?’
‘I can’t be sure,’ said Kitty, glancing out to the waves again. ‘I doubt he’d make up something like that. Too low to stoop, even for James.’ She let out a wobbly breath. ‘I feel terrible that I left her.’
‘Did she live with you? When you were with James, I mean?’ asked Nick.
‘No,’ said Kitty. ‘She came for weekends. That’s hardly the point though, is it? Just because you’re not with someone twenty-four-seven doesn’t mean you don’t love them.’
Her cheeks turned pink, and Nick wondered – no, he hoped – the sentiment might be directed at him. But her next words pushed any foolish nonsense from his mind.
‘I need time to think about Rae,’ said Kitty, ‘and you’re not helping standing there giving me the Spanish Inquisition.’
‘I’m trying to help,’ said Nick. ‘I’m trying to be a friend.’
‘Well, I don’t need friends,’ said Kitty. ‘I’ve managed without friends for the past five years. And I’ve done fine.’ She straightened, glaring at him. ‘I didn’t have friends when I had to escape London. I did that myself. And now I need to deal with this alone. Why can’t you understand that?’
‘I do,’ said Nick. He reached out to take her hand. She pulled away, half turning her back on him.
‘Shouldn’t you be getting back to Emily?’ she said.
Nick winced. ‘That’s a low blow.’
‘I’m right, aren’t I, Nick?’ said Kitty. ‘Emily should be your priority, not me. I told you if anything happened between us, it would drag you into my mess, and I’m being proved right.’ She waved her hand as though she was shooing chickens. ‘You need to leave, Nick. You need to turn and walk away and forget all about me. Whatever there was between us is over. Over. Do you understand?’ Her voice hardened. ‘I don’t want you calling at my house. I don’t want you watching me through pub windows. I want you to get on with your life, concentrate on your daughter, and leave me to live mine. Am I making myself clear enough?’
‘Crystal,’ said Nick. Over. Just like that. As if none of it ever mattered.
Cheeks smarting from humiliation, anger and pain, he pivoted on his heel and trudged along the beach toward the school field.
Chapter 54
‘What are you doing here?’ Kitty didn’t take her hand from the cottage door in case she needed to slam it in his face. The chain was still on.
‘I’m sorry.’ James offered a contrite smile. ‘I know you told me not to come here.’
‘And why did you?’ Kitty’s desperate need to slam the door and retreat into the cottage was tempered by something about James’s hangdog expression. ‘What is it? What’s happened? Is it Rae?’
‘Yes and no,’ he said. ‘It’s awkward.’ He shifted from foot to foot, appearing almost as uncomfortable as she felt.
‘Awkward?’
‘Yeah. I’m meant to be visiting Rae tomorrow, and my car has let me down.’
‘Your car?’
‘Yes, I’m sorry, but…’
‘Can we get to the point, please? I’ve got plans this evening, and I should get ready.’ Kitty hoped her voice conveyed the confidence sadly lacking in her body. Her palm was sweaty andslipping from the doorframe, her knees so weak she worried she’d collapse. Her mouth felt as if it had been stuffed with cotton wool.
‘Yeah, yeah, of course. Sorry. My car’s broken down. I’ve got no way of getting to London and nowhere to stay.’
