‘Would anyone like tea or coffee?’
‘I’ll help you make it,’ said Seb, following me into the kitchen.
‘So, this is weird,’ I said, filling the kettle.
‘Just a bit. When I tried to picture your life before Lowen Farm, I never thought it would be somewhere like this. It’s all a bit…’
‘Bland?’
Seb nodded.
‘Well, we’ve not lived in this house long, but our last one was much the same, but bigger. My mother-in-law decorated that house too.’
‘I don’t get it, Liv,’ said Seb, leaning against the kitchen worktop and fiddling with his beard. ‘You seem so capable and interesting. I don’t get how you could live like this for so long.’
‘I suppose it’s different once you have a child. My priority has always been Bertie. And when he was little, well, there wasn’t much time to think about anything except meeting his needs. Trust me, when it comes to caring for a baby, you’re happy for anyone to take over any decision making. In those days, I thought Marion was just being kind. I suppose she was, in her own way. It was a relief when she took over decorating our home. The last thing I had time for was deciding on paint colours and soft furnishings. And she talked me into being a stay-at-home mum, a decision I was more than happy with at the time. It was only as Bertie grew older and more independent that I began to question things.’
‘Yeah, I guess I don’t have much experience with kids. And you must have been really young.’
‘I was twenty-one, so not that young. More of a problem was not having Mum around. There were so many times I wished I could have asked her for advice. I don’t think I ever let myself grieve properly when she died. I wanted to make things better for Dad, and the only way I could think to do that was to not cause him any stress. I threw myself into trying to be perfect at everything: school, university, motherhood. When I accidentally fell pregnant with Bertie, marrying Rob seemed the obvious thing to do. It meant Dad didn’t have to worry about me. Someone else was taking care of me.’
‘And now?’
‘Now I see that what Dad really wants is for me to be happy. Bertie’s growing up fast. He doesn’t need me in the way he used to. Being his mum will always come first, but now there’s a bit more space for me to be me.’
The doorbell went, and I left Seb making tea. I opened the door to a young blonde woman with a stud in her nose and a sleeve of tattoos on her arm. ‘Nicola?’
‘Yes. Are you Liv?’
‘Yes.’
‘Look, I’m so sorry about what happened with Rob. We should have waited until he was divorced. It was a shitty thing to do to you.’
‘In the light of what I’ve just been through, it isn’t the end of the world. You clearly make Rob happy, and I’m glad.’
‘Really? I thought you’d greet me with a punch in the face.’
‘Maybe under normal circumstances…’ I smiled at Nicola. She was nothing like I was expecting. Whilst Rob having an affair with his secretary was the ultimate cliché, there was nothing clichéd about the woman herself. She must have hidden her tattoos under long sleeves at work, and I supposed the nose piercing would be easy enough to remove. ‘Sorry, come in. You can’t stand there on the doorstep all day.’
‘Cool place,’ said Nicola, as she followed me into the house.
‘You think so?’
‘Nah, I’m just being polite.’ Nicola laughed. ‘I’d destroy this place in five minutes. I’m too clumsy for white. I pretend my dark green walls are a statement, but really, they’re to hide stains. I can’t walk from one side of a room to another without chucking my coffee everywhere.’
‘Well, don’t worry about making a mess here. We shan’t be living in this house for much longer.’
‘I guessed as much. I didn’t think this was a social call, unless you’re into weird threesomes which, in case you’re wondering, I’m not.’
I laughed. ‘Given the number of people currently in my living room, it would be more like an orgy, but don’t worry, I’m not into those any more than I am threesomes. No, my friends havecome up with a plan that should benefit us all, and I thought you should be here to hear it.’
‘That’s very generous of you.’
‘Maybe. But I also wanted to size you up. If you’re going to be part of Rob’s life, that means you’ll also be part of Bertie’s.’
‘And have I passed the test?’
‘So far,’ I said with a smile. ‘Come on, I’ll introduce you to the gang.’
