“Eli married ‘properly,’ isn’t that enough for you?” I shot back.
“Yes, but you – who was always sickly and always with me. I worried so much about you. I don’t deserve this!”
Her sobbing shook me. Tears filled my own eyes. It was clear I had sinned, at least against them. If only I could turn back the clock.
Amid the chaos, I promised my father that no matter what, we’d have a proper wedding, according to all the rules. My mother was beyond listening by then.
Suddenly I realized my parents might blame everything on Lily. That was the last thing I wanted.
“I want you to know that this was my idea – entirely mine – from beginning to end,” I declared loudly.
“Just yesterday you were here, what happened overnight?”
“Nothing. I’ve been carrying this with me ever since enlistment. Even then, I decided she’d be my wife.”
“You barely know her.”
“I know her well enough to want to marry her and live with her.”
“So you just got up and married her, like that?” my father demanded.
“Dad, not just like that. I married for love. I love Lily.”
“We haven’t even met her parents.”
At that moment, I understood I had erred, that there was no choice, and that what had been done would have to be corrected. I promised them I’d do everything possible to keep it within the family.
For a moment, oppressive silence filled the room.
“You realize, according to Jewish law, if you sanctified her, you’ll have to divorce her first before marrying again?”
My father stunned me. He insisted that if there had been aceremony and sanctification, there was ahalakhicobligation to divorce before remarrying.
We agreed that everything would stay within the family, and that we’d quickly arrange a proper wedding by the book.
The joy I’d felt barely two hours earlier was replaced by confusion and sorrow.
An atmosphere of chaos, tinged with anger and disappointment, filled my parents’ apartment. On the very day of my marriage to Lily, I had to think about divorce…
I felt trapped in a snare entirely of my own making.
Chapter 27
Confusion and Recovery
When the storm at my parents’ house finally subsided, I called Lily and asked her to pick me up. When she asked how my parents had reacted to the news, I praised the wonderful weather. My father, standing next to me, understood. He smiled at me, shaking his head from side to side.
About half an hour later, Lily picked me up from my parents’ place.
“So, my Lily, what did they say?” I asked first as I got into the car. In all the excitement and confusion, I forgot to say, ‘my wife.’
“They were surprised. My father congratulated me, but my mother was a little reserved.”
“A little reserved? That’s it?” I tried to compare her mother’s response to that of my parents.
“She’s sure it’s not binding. She’s happy for us, but… What about your parents, how did they react?” She passed the buck back to me.
“Don’t ask.”
