“Farrah!” I yell after her.
She stops with her hand on the railing. “I like him a lot, and I think he is a good guy so far. But I don’t know why you are asking my opinion, because you’re going to keep giving Charlie chances. When you’re ready to admit that you’re falling for Callahan, then we can talk.” She offers a little wave before she finishes her journey upstairs.
Her words hit me in my chest, and I sit back, reeling from the impact. Is that what I’ve been doing while grasping for anything to stop the fall? Better yet, what am I going to do about it now? I’ve finally opened myself up to giving him a chance, but I don’t know if I’m ready for everything that means.
“I want you to know I have you saved in my phone as Wifey.”
Clearly not sick of me, he calls me the next day to give me the lowdown about his takeaway from the day. He loves Farrah, and apparently, at some point got her number. I don’t know how that is going to go over with Errol, but I’m personally not a fan of them getting buddy-buddy.
“That’s ridiculous,” I say.
“Now, honestly, why are you surprised when I have been calling you that since I met you?”
I don’t know, but I guess part of me never really thought he was serious, even though he is constantly talking about it. Even more of me was hoping that what Farrah said wasn’t true. If it’s clear to her that I’m falling for him, then he has been showing me signs that he is falling for me too.
“Do you know what I have you saved in my phone as?” I ask, focusing back on the conversation.
“What?”
“Ginger Giant.”
This gets a holler out of him, and his laughter has me giggling too.
“That’s acceptable, until you make it Husband.”
Before I can respond, my other line starts beeping through. I see that it’s Charlie and roll my eyes. I’m inclined to ignore it, enjoying my talk with Callahan too much, but even thinking that makes me feel guilty.
“I have to go, can I call you later?”
He agrees, and I quickly switch over.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“I miss you,” Charlie says with a sigh.
I haven’t spoken to him since the day I got home. I’ve been giving myself the space to figure out what to do about him, but I miss him too.
“How have you been?” I ask.
He turns the video on, and I can see dark circles under his eyes. It’s obvious that this is all stressing him out.
When I’m alone and it’s just me and my thoughts, I feel the way he looks. Like the thing that has been hollowed out from inside me has left room for other feelings to fester. Farrah and Callahan distracting me is the only temporary solution to the problem. I know this is hard on everyone, so I give him some grace.
“You look how I feel,” I joke.
“Really? Anything I can do to help?”
Anything I would need from him, Callahan is already providing, but I feel like if I tell him that we will just fight again, and I’m not in the mood. So instead, I just talk about what Farrah and I have been doing.
“I got you something. Maybe this will keep your mind off of everything.” He holds up a VR system box, one I have wanted for a very long time.
“Oh my god.”
“And I got you the subscription. This should be able to keep you distracted.”
“Come over now and we’ll play,” I say.
He seems surprised but agrees, and soon we are spending hours laughing and fighting through a zombie apocalypse.
