I feel like my pants soak through to my seat from that one sentence.
“Save for that later,” I say, panting.
He nods and sits back, unable to see.
I park and then take his hand, leading him silently through the admission part. I convince them to let him sign the forms after he sees where we are, so they lead us out.
“Okay, you can look now,” I say.
He lifts up the mask and takes in the fact that we are on a race track. An exotic car is parked in front of us, both doors open. All around us are empty stands.
“What is this?” he asks, turning towards me, his eyes big.
“You get to race again, just legally. I thought—” Before I can finish my sentence, I am lifted into the air and spun around.
I laugh as he starts screaming and whooping. When he puts me down, his eyes are misty, and his smile looks like it’s hurting his cheeks.
“God, I love you,” he says before kissing me until I can’t think.
I melt in his arms and settle into this joy emitting from his pores. He doesn’t pull back until the instructor reminds us that we only have an hour.
We go through all the instructions and steps, and then Callahan is climbing into the car. I can join him, but I want to film his first few laps. He sits there for a moment, his hands gripping the wheel. Even though I can’t see his full face I know he is just taking this in. Then, with a wave, he rolls up the window and tears off.
The instructor’s eyes go wide as he sees the speed with which Callahan takes off. I don’t think he was expecting him to hit those numbers on his first lap, but my man does. Looking like he missed his calling, he takes the track like a crowd is watching. I cheer like I’m watching a race as he does three full and fast laps.
When he comes back, he skids to a stop, drifting a little. The man puts his hands on his head, and I think in that moment he feels like he made a mistake.
“Let’s go, sweetheart!” Callahan yells.
I jump into the passenger seat and grab his face, giving him a searing kiss as he starts to take off again. Turning to face the road, he keeps both hands on the wheel and a wild smile on his face.
The first turn he takes has me screaming and him laughing. Everything around us is blurring to the point that looking out the window makes me dizzy. I just want to look at him anyway. I just want to see the way his cheeks pull. The wild squint of his eyes. I’m lost in the elation emitting from him. I feel it too. I always feel it when I’m with him.
The way he rains down love on me, I have no choice but to bloom. His shining joy and optimism is like basking in the sun. He feeds into me, and it’s now my chance to provide the sustenance back to him.
When we pull back to the front, he looks at me like I am filling him up. We just sit in silence, our eyes locked, breath heavy.
“Me and you,” I say, grabbing his hand.
“Forever,” he says, squeezing.
The guy knocks on the window, breaking our moment, and we turn to get out.
Callahan is quiet on the walk to the parking lot until we get to the car.
“I don’t know if you know what that meant to me.”
“I think I do.” I grab his hand, pulling him closer.
He turns me and presses me against the door, his mouth coming within inches of mine.
“That was my past and my present coming together. I was finally allowed to look back on who I was without guilt.”
“You deserve that. You get to be proud of the man you are, no matter what your dad thinks.”
He breathes out against my mouth and then kisses me so hungrily, it makes me feel starved too. It crawls under our skin and soon has us rushing to leave.
We couldn’t wait the six hours of the drive to consume each other, so we booked a hotel and kissed from the lobby until we closed the door. That surge of sexual hunger I’ve been missing charges through me, flushing my skin in heat. I feel a little bit more in control of my body, and ready to take back my agency.
