“My turn,” I call out.
“Yes, cheers yourself, girl!” Farrah yells
“Actually, I would like to say a cheer to Callahan. As kind as you guys are being, you all know how stubborn I have been through this process. You know how hard I fought to somehow do it all on my own.”
A few of them nod.
“I couldn’t. And I know I wouldn’t have been able to do it all without him.” I step closer to him, removing my hand from his mouth. “Cheers to Callahan, the man who held me while I threw up, who made me laugh when I didn’t think I could smile, and who glued down my wigs. Cheers to the love I didn’t know was possible, but always needed. You are exactly what I require, and I owe a big portion of this journey to you.”
Everyone yells, but I don’t have time to take my shot before his lips are on mine. I smile against his mouth and then only indulge him fora few seconds. It was already too long for our family, because my dad is doing a completely unsubtle cough, and Rowan is screaming for us to stop. But it’s clear he doesn’t want to because he is dragging me towards the stairs.
Once in my room, he pulls me against him and tries the kiss again. This time I lean in entirely. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hold him close to me.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he whispers into the crook of my neck.
“Baby, that’s just the beginning. You have a long life of me being thankful I’m in it.”
He holds me even tighter until it feels like every part of me is touching him. We stay that way longer than we should. The guest of honor shouldn’t be gone from the party for this much time, but I don’t care.
“We should go back,” he says as if hearing my thoughts.
“Yes, we should, but just one more minute.”
The rhythm of his heartbeat has always moved me, but the rapid pace of it now has me swaying us back and forth. We dance to the sounds of our breathing. The backbeat of our love. It’s the best song I have ever heard. It is connecting me back to that part of me that loves to dance. I don’t want to stop, but I hear Farrah calling my name.
We head back downstairs to more shots and a few gifts. I don’t know what you give someone for surviving cancer, but people seem to feel obligated to buy something.
I don’t want to open them right now, so I have Callahan bring them upstairs. While he does, I pull Rowan to the side.
“Hey, I know we both are tipsy and it’s supposed to be a party, but I wanted to talk to you about Callahan,” I say.
She nods, and we walk onto the back porch with our jackets on. The alcohol helps to warm us up against the crisp winter chill. She pushes her hair from behind her ears to cover them and takes a big sip of her beer.
“Look, I know we never finished that conversation from St. Patrick’s, and I am sure you don’t want to now, but I want to explain.”
She doesn’t say anything as we sit on the stairs.
“My white mom really did a number on me, and it was the reason I only dated Black men. Callahan is so amazing that he made me get over that. But all my other issues from her still flared up. I know I shouldn’t have let that be an excuse to treat him like that, and I won’t do it again, but I just want you to know that I love your brother, and I plan on spending the rest of my life showing him how much he is loved.”
She sighs and closes her eyes for a moment. “I don’t know how much you know about his relationship with our Pa.”
“I know everything.”
“Then you should know Callahan has a long history of trying to earn things from people. Whether you like it or not, you made him have to earn you, and then you made it seem like that effort wasn’t enough.” She turns her icy eyes on me, and it’s the coldest I have ever seen Rowan look. I know there is a part of her that might never forgive me for this.
“I’m not going to apologize for making him earn me. I’m a prize. But I can tell you that I plan on spending time earning him, too, because I want him to know he is also one. I don’t want your brother to feel lucky that someone wants him. I want him to realize it’s about damn time and it shouldn’t have taken this long.”
She stares me down, and I don’t look away. I want her to see every intention in my eyes. I want her to see how much her brother means to me.
“I guess you are finally going to have siblings then,” she says before offering me a small smile.
I pull her in for a hug and rest my head on her shoulder. She sighs, and it feels like we are rebuilding the bridge I burned.
“Let’s go inside, it’s freezing,” I say, standing up. She does too, but grabs my arm to stop me.
“Guess what? I showed Charlie my book, and he is going to publish it.”
“Rowan!” I hug her again. This time tighter.
