We make a few more stops, taking in more history and culture of the island before making our way towards the only two places that sell Halloween stuff. The selection is grim, so we might have to get creative.
“You girls can always just wear lingerie and bunny ears,” Charlie says.
Errol shoots Farrah a look, telling her that’s not an option, and Michael just shakes his head. I know Callahan wouldn’t mind, but I do. I only feel sexy with him, and I haven’t been able to find myself in a place where I even feel sexy alone.
We do what we can and then make our way back to the house.
Once in the room, Callahan pulls me into his arms. It’s so natural to relax against him. I’ve been fighting this for so long while absolutely needing it.
“You want to be the Red Riding Hood to my Wolf?” He growls against my neck and then nibbles. With as bulky and hairy as he is, I can see it.
“You don’t have your beard.”
“Who needs it?” He lets me go and throws his arms up.
I look between the tacky wigs I bought, my gut twisting a little. What if I’m dancing and it flies off and everyone just sees my head? No one but Callahan has seen me bald. I’m drawing on my eyebrows now, so the idea of being exposed in both ways feels like too much to handle. I sigh and drop them onto the floor.
“I don’t know what to do.” I throw myself backwards onto the bed and kick my feet.
“Why don’t you be a pimp. You have that nice body suit and fur jacket, and the umbrella we brought can be a cane. I’ll even be your ho.” Sliding down my body, he starts to show me exactly what he is capable of. When he stands back up, his boner reminds me that I still look good to him.
“I have to test the product before I sell it,” I say.
“Enough said.”
By the time we get downstairs, everyone is there, so they all are able to turn and see Callahan. He has on one of the bad wigs from the store, and a stretch dress I’m not sure will ever fit me again. He’s walkinglike his big old self, but he has a little bit of sway to his hips. Everybody but Michael breaks out in applause and gives us anoohas I slap him on the butt. By far, he has the best costume out of everyone.
Farrah is wearing a giant heart coat that she swears is couture, and Errol looks like himself but just has on vampire teeth. Rowan and Charlie went over the top, painting themselves green, and it takes me no time to realize they are ogres. Michael didn’t try, and it seems like his sour mood made Sahara only dress up in a white dress. She has a veil on her head, making her the prettiest, and saddest, bride.
“Shots!” screams Rowan.
She tips back Errol’s mouth, just free pouring. He taps her arm, and it takes her a second to stop. Farrah runs over next, and I’m so jealous. Callahan stays by my side and opts for a pop.
“No drinking?” I ask.
“I don’t want you to take advantage of me.”
I know he is doing it for me, making me love him even more. It also makes me want to go running into the ocean. Why can’t he just do something wrong so I can feel less secure?
Speaking of the reason for my expectation, Charlie walks over and asks if we can talk.
“What’s up?” I ask when we get to the living room in the basement.
“I just actually want to check on you. Look, I know this cancer thing is a lot, and I wasn’t the best, but do you think you should be in a relationship right now?”
I cross my arms to ward off his “good intentions”, my back going stiff.
“I think that Callahan has been the most helpful out of everyone, and he is one of the only reasons I haven’t fallen apart. If anything, you should be asking him why he is doing this right now.”
“That’s what I mean, Monty,” he sighs out. “I’m scared the only reason you’re with him is because you met him when you needed someone. You’re relying on him because you have to, not because you want to. You never wanted that.”
Drilling down into the deepest parts of me, he pulls up all my insecurities and throws them in my face. After these weeks of doing everything in my power to fight my instincts, he comes and reminds me of what I’ve always said.
“I know I have messed up, but at least with me, we were on even ground. Neither one of us knew how to give our all.”
Because being so dependent on someone’s existence in your life is so stupid. How could I have let myself get to this point?
“Look, I just don’t want anything to happen to you, and you’ve known this guy for less than a year. What are you going to do if he ends it?”
