I wait for what feels like an hour, until finally I see her. She’s on the phone, pushing open the turnstile door. I rush up to her, put on a big smile, and wave.
She sees me and frowns, confused at first, but after a moment she hangs up the call and smiles.
“What are you doing in the city?” Kai asks. “Don’t you have class?”
I put my finger to my lips in ashhmotion. “I skipped econ. Don’t tell Maya.”
Kai gives me a playful scolding look. “And you’re asking me to support this bad behavior?” She shakes her head.
“I was nearby so I thought I’d stop by and say hi,” I say cheerfully.
“Well, it’s always nice to see you, love, and I wish I could take you out to dinner, but I have a meeting to get to.” She looks at her watch, a small, expensive-looking piece. “I’m late. But you’re welcome to walk with me.”
Kai takes off at a brisk New Yorker pace uptown. As she expertly weaves in and out of slow-walking pedestrians, my heart pumps as I try to keep up. “So, tell me everything,” she says. “How are classes? How are boys?”
“Good, good, can’t complain,” I say. “I’m dating a guy Maya doesn’t like…no surprise there. But it’s not serious.”
“Tell me more,” Kai says.
“I don’t know…he’s in Sterling, plays tennis…it’s not like we’re going to get married or anything.”
Kai gives me a look. “Of course not,” she says. “Trust me, you want to be single in your first years post-college. Your early twenties in the city are everything.” She pauses at a red light, and I’m gratefulfor a second to catch my breath. “You are moving to the city afterward, aren’t you?”
I tell her how I want to travel after graduation and then settle back in the city afterward. Ask her opinion on bookstore management jobs versus publishing graduate programs. She says she’ll put me in touch with a friend and offers to help me find a place.
Finally, when the sidewalk has cleared, and we’re headed up 57th Street toward the park, I manage to step in. “Did you hear about the leaked documents from Hunt Investment Group? The ones about Greystone?”
Kai looks at me. “I heard about the leakedemails,insider trading and fraud allegations, but nothing about Greystone directly.”
Shit. Of course she didn’t know about the documents theTimeshadn’t reported on yet. Amy will never forgive me for letting this slip. I try to hide the flush burning my cheeks and hope she thinks it’s from the cold. “Oh, I just assumed…”
“Naomi,” Kai says, stopping to face me. “What do you know about the leak?”
I exhale, wondering how much to tell her. “There are some emails about a girl who died who was in Greystone. She was a senior in 2012…”
Kai stands back, a look of recognition on her face. She looks away and takes a deep inhale.
“I wanted to ask you about it,” I continue. “Lila’s brother emailed Marta. He wanted to know what really happened. Marta told DuPont and he shut her down. But if it was an accident, why would he be so nervous? I know about the assault, but…it feels like there is a piece I’m missing.” Kai’s face is paler than I’ve ever seen it. “Please—I can’t ask Maya—”
Kai shakes her head and gestures for me to follow her to a quieter part of the street. “Look,” she says, once we’ve settled. “It was a long time ago. We were young. And stupid. What happened to Lila was awful. But itwasan accident.” Kai leans in closer, her eyes intent on mine. “We were friends with her. None of us wanted her to die.”
Kai sighs. “Let me tell you something.” She hesitates, as if gathering her thoughts. “Over the years, I’ve seen my colleagues put in long hours at the firm. Bright young lawyers with Ivy League degrees, topof their class. Well, the ones who get promoted, do you know what they had in common?”
I stare at her blankly, trying to understand how this has anything to do with Lila.
“They resemble the men making the decisions. The partners.”
“White and gray,” I say.
A scornful puff of air releases from her nose. “If bygrayyou mean Greystone, then yes. I wish I could tell you success was all hard work and intellect, darling, but it’s not. At least half is luck, timing, and the right mentors.” She sighs. “So no, I didn’t say anything all those years ago. Do I wish I had? Yes. I wish more than anything I could go back. I do. But at the time, there weren’t many women of color in Big Law, not many women period, and when I was struggling to get a job, Matthew DuPont was the only one who offered to help. So I kept my mouth shut.”
I take a step back. “He physically assaulted her.” I thought I knew what kind of person Kai was. I thought I knew her. “You let it happen. All of you just let it happen.”
“We didn’tlet it happen,we picked up the pieces after. We then tried to make Matthew suffer as much as we could, given the position we were in,” she says, speaking more quickly now. “I mean, we were twenty-one! We didn’t go about it the right way. We should have contacted the authorities, at the very least, and hired a lawyer, not tried to handle it ourselves.” She heaves a heavy sigh and places a hand on my shoulder. I can hardly stand to look at her. “This is serious. You could ruin a lot of people’s lives. Please, don’t ask anyone else about it—especially Maya. When Lila died…it tore her apart. She’s never gotten over it.”
My neck grows hot, and I jerk back from her grasp. “And if he killed her? Don’t you care that a murderer is out in the world, living his life like nothing happened?”
“It’s too late to do anything about it now,” she says, shaking her head. “I admire what you’re trying to do here, Naomi, but learn from our mistakes, and don’t try to fix things that are beyond your reach.”
