“No.” He laughed lightly. “Which is why I didn’t want to take you there so we could shout down the house in pleasure. There are no secrets in those walls. But we get along very well. She is a remarkable person. I wish I could do more for her. Perhaps when these investments pay out, I’ll be able to do so. But in the meantime, I hate that I haven’t made the best decisions in the name of protecting her.”
She sat up, pushing herself from his arms and looked down at him. “That’s…that’s why you agreed to help your grandfather with the engagement.”
He nodded even though he didn’t want to tarnish this moment with that truth. She deserved it, though. He wouldn’t try to hide the shame he so richly deserved. “I’m not proud of it, nor do I think my reasons excuse my actions, but yes. He promised to give her a little more to live on if I would do as he asked. But I want you to know, I truly didn’t know the machinations going on behind the scenes. I’d no idea my cousin was only trying to manipulate the earl to marry Miss Garrington.”
She got up and paced to where a robe lay draped over a chair. She swept it up and put it on, staring out the window a moment before she looked at him over her shoulder. “I believe you. Even if that faith in someone I know so little might make me a fool.”
“I hope it doesn’t, for I mean you no harm.”
He got up too and moved toward her, loving how her gaze flitted over his naked form and her pupils dilated. At least they had wanting. He cupped her cheek and dropped his lips to hers. The kiss was warm as much as it was passionate. Like a welcome home or a dip into a hot bath after a long day. It was perfect and he never wanted it to end.
But at last he parted his mouth from hers. “The only fool in this situation washim.”
“Well, given where we are now, I would thank you for trying to make me feel better, but I know you are incorrect.” She covered the hand he still used to cup her face.
They stood there for a moment and then she turned her mouth into his palm briefly and kissed it before she moved away from him. He felt the withdrawal. Realized she needed it, that they had stepped into waters that were too deep for comfort.
“Should I go, Julia?”
She faced him again. “Probably.”
There was a sting of disappointment to that answer, even if he understood its cause. Whatever they were building, neither of them understood it. She certainly didn’t trust it. And why would she?
He bent and swept up his trousers. He dressed himself with far more efficiency than he’d stripped himself, feeling her watch him with every movement even if he didn’t acknowledge that she stared. When he was finished, pulled together enough to leave her, she let out a long, shaky sigh and went to him.
Her arms came around his neck and she stared up into his face. “I suppose I’m still a fool after all this,” she murmured, almost more to herself than to him. “I enjoyed every moment of tonight, Alexander. I’m not ready to be finished with it. So if you’d like to do this again?—”
The thrill that ripped through him at that was so powerful he couldn’t even let her finish. “I would.”
She smiled and lifted to her tiptoes to kiss him one more time. He tilted his head, savoring the feel of her for as long as she would let him. And when she released him, he stepped away, squeezed her hand and left her.
But even as he had Parsons call for his carriage, even as he headed back across Town to his home, he couldn’t help but feel…hopeful. Even if he had no idea what it was exactly he was hoping for. Only that it would involve Julia Comerford.
CHAPTER 21
Aunt Caroline’s request to join her for tea the next day had been unexpected. Since their return to London, her aunt had been busy, preoccupied. But Julia welcomed the time together. At least it would be a distraction from her tangled, disconcerting thoughts about Alexander and their night together.
Not just the passion. That meant a great deal, but it was the connection both before when they had been at the Danvers’ home and after they’d gone to bed when he held her. She felt a pull to this man, something unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
Once upon a time she had ached for that connection. She’d dreamed of it, hoped she would find someone who would create it in her.
“Little fool,” she muttered before she entered the parlor and smiled at her aunt as she turned from the mantel. “Aunt Caroline.”
“Dearest.” Caroline crossed the room and enveloped her in a hug. “You look very well.”
Julia chuckled as she moved to pour tea for them. “You sound surprised by that.”
“It’s been a very difficult time since we returned to London and I’ve perhaps been remiss in checking on you as often as I should.”
Julia brought the cup she’d prepared back to her aunt and motioned her to sit. As they did so, Beatrice wandered into the room. Her aunt made a little sound and swept the kitten up to cuddle her.
“Aunt Caroline, you’re never anything but wonderful. If you hadn’t been with me when all this happened, it would have been much worse. And it’s nothing new. The three of us are all aware that most women in your station would have walked away from us when we turned to the lives of courtesans. Society must have expected it.”
Caroline pursed her lips. “Society expects a great deal. But I never could have walked away from my girls.”
Julia covered her hand and blinked at the tears that stung her eyes. “You never have. So don’t trouble yourself. You say I look well and I suppose I…am. In truth, I’m relieved the engagement was ended, though I wouldn’t have chosen how that came about or what might come next.”
She tried not to let thoughts of the earl’s threats enter her mind. She couldn’t let herself go mad with terror until she understood that situation. She was already putting pieces into place to protect herself at any rate.
