“Oh no,” Arabella said with a laugh, and got to her knees to crawl over to their sister for a hug. “Now it’s this one crying. Oh sweet, we’ll go as soon as you’re able after the baby comes. It will be a special trip for us.”
Julia smiled at her sisters but then sighed. “I would also love that. Though I do wonder at the wordhome. I cannot even imagine what that will for me be by the time the baby comes and you’re ready to adventure out with us again.”
“It’s here,” Arabella insisted. “I was given this house and I have never sold it because I always want there to be a soft place for any of us to fall if hard times came. It isyourhome, Julia, for as long as you want or need it.”
Julia pursed her lips. “I know and I appreciate it. Just as I appreciate the fact that probably very soon now both of you and your husbands will take me aside and tell me how you’re willing to support me for the rest of my life if I don’t wish to return to the life of a courtesan.”
“We would,” Evie said. “You needn’t ever do anything you don’t wish to do.”
“It’s very kind and I appreciate it. I may have no choice but to accept that role as dependent sibling and eventually eccentric aunt.” She sighed. “But I…I wished for more. I wished for security and some independence. Wished for it so much I made a very foolish mistake.”
“I know.” Now it was Arabella’s eyes that misted with rare tears. “I know, sweet. This isn’t how any of us wanted this to end for you.”
Julia clenched her hands in her lap. “You must be disappointed in me. After all, you two raced in to save me froman arranged marriage only to have me walk so foolishly into something worse in the end.”
Arabella tilted her head. “You compare our father trying to sell you to an old man when you werefifteento you, as an adult, deciding to make what should have been a reasonable marriage?”
Julia shrugged. “I’m only saying?—”
“Well, don’t say it,” Arabella continued with a huff of breath. “It’s a ridiculous notion. You keep trying to find ways to make this your fault and it isn’t.”
Evie reached out and Julia scooted forward to take her sister’s hand. “It isn’t. Did we hope for love for you? Something as wonderful as what the two of us have found? Of course. But if the marriage had gone through and you and the viscount had only turned out to be affectionate friends and partners, Arabella and I would have supported you. As we’ll support you now. So stop blaming yourself.”
Julia let out a shuddering breath. “It may take me a while to stop doing that.”
“You have as long as you need,” Arabella said.
“Yes. The nice thing is that you don’t have to makeanybig decisions right now,” Evie said. “You can heal. Rest. Wait for as long as you desire.”
Julia knew that wasn’t true. The longer she was out of the mistress market, the less value she’d have, especially since there would very much be a scandal as soon as the situation with Laurence was fully revealed. And unlike other scandals, this one…being thrown over…that might not make her more attractive as a courtesan.
“I know it’s not dire,” she said softly. “I have enough saved from my past lovers to live a few years in comfort. Perhaps even five if I’m frugal. But then…then it’s a blank. It’s hard to picture being with someone new. With starting all over trying to find aprotector who isn’t cruel and is generous enough to make the sacrifice worthwhile.” She let out a great sigh that felt like it came from her soul. “Oh, I’m being maudlin.”
“Youaren’t.” Arabella shook her head. “You know full well that the one place you can always be honest with how you feel is with us. So be sad or be angry or be frustrated or be afraid. I’m here for all of that.”
“As am I, though I will cry when you do those things, at least until this baby arrives,” Evie said, wiping tears even now while she laughed at herself.
Julia found herself doing the same. “I do love you both, so deeply.”
Now they were all teary and Arabella threw up her hands. “I changed my mind, we’re all maudlin. Come, let’s keep going through the boxes. I have a sneaking suspicion you stole my favorite slippers a year ago and I am determined to be proven right during this exercise.”
Julia giggled because she very likelyhadstolen the slippers. Or borrowed them permanently, which was what she preferred to say.
For a little while longer, they continued their sorting of the boxes and she let herself relax. Were there continuing intrusive thoughts about Alexander Castleton that popped into her mind from time to time? Yes, but she pushed them away when they cropped up. She was very proud of herself for that fact even until there was a light knock on the door.
“Come in,” all three of them said at once and then laughed with each other.
Parsons pushed the door open and blocked the kitten from bolting from the room as she was always trying to do. Beatrice looked up at him and immediately began climbing his leg.
“Oh—ouch! Oh!” He bent and detached her from his trousers and cuddled her against his chest. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Miss Comerford, you have a visitor.”
Julia got up and moved to the doorway. She held out her hands for Beatrice and smiled when Parsons seemed reluctant to return her even after she’d mauled his leg. Everyone in the household was falling in love with the kitten, it seemed.
“Who is it?” she asked. “I wasn’t expecting anyone.” In fact, very few people knew she was back, so this made her even more nervous about the idea of a caller.
“It is Mr. Castleton, miss,” the butler said.
Julia wobbled slightly at his name and the shock of emotion and desire that ripped through her at it. But before she could answer, both her sisters bolted to their feet.
