“O-of course, miss,” Parsons said. “I’ll have it brought as soon as possible.”
He gave her one last look before he hurried off to do as she asked. She must have looked quite wild, if the concern on his face was any dictation. But then, she felt quite wild. And what she was about to do was even wilder.
And she knew full-well it could be a massive mistake. But in this moment, she didn’t care.
CHAPTER 14
Alexander had been home for several hours but felt no relaxation or comfort. Over and over, he relived the last encounter between Julia and Laurence. His anger at his cousin’s brutish, cruel behavior hadn’t waned during his long ride to London, nor since he had arrived home. Nor had the guilt that stabbed him whenever he thought of Julia turning her dark eyes to him with heartbroken accusation.
At least he had the house to himself to brood on all he’d done and not done. His mother had gone to stay with friends during his days in the countryside so that they might give the servants time off and reduce the expenses for running the household. It meant he had to light his own fires and eat cold food from the larder, but perhaps he deserved no more than that.
After all, was Julia all that wrong that he was part of the problem? He’d encouraged a rift between her and Laurence. And when he knew Laurence’s true motives…well, he’d pushed for the confrontation. Certainly his cousin had been crueler to her as punishment to Alexander for his role, he’d taken glee in admitting as much.
There was a knock on the door and he jerked his head up from his brandy and his tangled thoughts. He was expecting noone. He hadn’t even yet written his mother to let her know he was back in Town.
The knock came again. It wasn’t gentle, nor kind. It sounded like the kind of knock collectors made and he tensed as he moved to the door. That would be the perfect and deserved end to this wretched day.
The knock pounded again and he opened it this time.
“Yes, yes, I was—” He stopped mid-sentence because there on his step, staring up at him with fire in her eyes was Julia. “I—Miss Comerford.”
“You,” she said, shaking her head. “You.”
He hadn’t allowed himself to explore her face too closely in Laurence’s chamber that morning. The lines of her humiliation and heartbreak and confusion were too much to take. But here on his step in the lamplight, he stared.
Every emotion was reflected on that beautiful face. All the things he hated to see and hated himself for being a part of.
“Miss Comerford, you made it safely back to London. I’m so glad. Please, won’t you come in?”
She shoved past him into his foyer and pivoted to fold her arms and glare at him. “Spare your pleasantries, Mr. Castleton,” she hissed out. “I didn’t come here to exchange them with a man such asyou.”
He sighed and paced past her to the parlor where he’d been drinking. He topped off his glass and poured her one, jerking his chin toward it so that she knew it was there for her.
“A man such as me, eh?” he repeated. “And what kind of man is that exactly?”
“You know what kind of man you are.” She took the drink and slugged it back in one impressive gulp. “And you knowexactlywhat you came to the countryside to do. Are you celebrating tonight? Toasting your success?”
“Look around you,” he said, motioning to the shadowy room with its low fire and barest of decoration. “Does it look like a celebration?”
She blinked and looked around, as if she hadn’t been fully aware of her surroundings. She took them in and then glanced at him, a little confusion on her face.
“Should I feel sorry for you?” she asked, though the question was slower and lower. “Because you aren’t living in the lap of luxury? Was that why you did it? Why you worked so hard to destroy my hopes? Were you promised gold for it? Or perhapssilver?”
He slammed the drink down on the tabletop. “You don’t know anything about me. In your rage and your pain you want to lash out and you think I’m the easiest target. But you can accuse me of many things, but not on trading my soul for gold.” He stopped as he thought of his mother. At the promises he’d made to enact just this outcome so she would be more comfortable. “At least not the way you believe it.”
“So you didn’t go out to Castleton Grange, rubbing your hands together in the hopes you would part me from Laurence? And you didn’t laugh all the way to London when you saw those plans come to fruition?”
“You knowexactlywhy I went there,” he said. “I was never anything but honest with you about my concerns and my thoughts on the difficulty you would face if you followed through with the marriage to my cousin. Did Ieverlie to you about that?”
She drew a short breath and her cheeks pinkened a little. She stared at him, swallowed hard, and then she huffed out a breath. “No, you wereverydirect.”
He stepped a little closer and to his shock, her pupils dilated with the motion. Just as they had on the terrace that night. Just as they had a handful of other times out in the countryside when he dared to allow himself to get closer to her than he should be.
He leaned in. “I promise you, Julia, there is no laughter or celebration on my behalf. No matter what you think, I will never own that. I think what my cousin did, why he did it, is disgusting. It was cruel and horrible and it will end whatever relationship we once had.”
“Don’t lie,” she snapped, and turned to move away.
He caught her arm just as he had on the terrace and held her in place gently. “I’m not lying. I had to leave Castleton Grange not because my work was done but because I didn’t want to do something I couldn’t take back.”
