“I’m sorry,” Arabella murmured as she kissed Julia’s cheek.
She nodded and pulled back to look at them. “You must all think me such a fool. You could see there was something wrong and tried to encourage me away from this path.”
“Nonsense.” Arabella smoothed a lock of hair from her forehead. “You are the very opposite of a fool.”
Vaughn stepped forward then and briefly hugged Julia. “If I could have kept you from this pain, I would have.”
“I know.” She smiled through her tears as she looked up at him. “You are far too good.”
“Not too good by half.”
Silas moved to her then. He also hugged her, a little more tightly than Vaughn had. He whispered, “I could make him pay.”
“I know you could. And that you would, and don’t think it isn’t tempting.” She squeezed him. “But it wouldn’t change the outcome. Nor whatever is to come next.”
She stepped away and smoothed her skirt. Caroline tilted her head. “What do you think will come next?”
“Very likely a smear campaign of some kind,” she said. “I assume Aunt Caroline told you all in her letter that he plans to marry someone else. Society will nod their heads and say that I’m a whore, so I deserved it. But it will also leave a stain on him for ending the engagement.”
“Yes, that lot is nothing if they’re not hypocritical,” Arabella mused.
Julia nodded. “To make the breaking of the public engagement to me palatable he’ll have to spread all kinds of things about me. Both a reminder of the truth of what I have been…” She hesitated. “What Iam. And whatever he thinks will further damage me.”
“You think he would do so?” Caroline said with a shake of her head and tears in her eyes.
“I wouldn’t have said yes a few weeks ago.” Julia let out a humorless laugh. “But it turns out I was dangerously naïve. I’m sorry if whatever he says hurts any of you.”
“No one can hurt us,” Evie said with a glance toward Vaughn. “You are all that matters.”
“Why don’t you stay with Silas and me?” Arabella asked. “I’ve prepared a room for you and you and…Aunt Caroline says there’s a cat.”
“Yes. She’s still in the carriage with Elsie and Violet. You can meet her later. I love you for the offer, but I would like to go home. I know I won’t have it much longer, but I can start to pack my things and?—”
“It’s gone,” Silas interrupted softly.
Julia blinked. “What?”
“Soon after Caroline’s letter arrived this afternoon, a cart with all your things was also delivered here,” he explained. “We had it taken to Arabella’s old home, as we assumed that was where you’d want to be in the long run. Though if you wish to be with us, we’ll bring it all back.”
She stared at him and then at her sisters, whose long faces were so painful. She shook her head. “All my things were packed?”
Vaughn shifted. “Yes.”
“So he had it arranged long ago,” she whispered. “This was always his plan. Just as he said. It wasn’t just cruelty, it was truth.”
“Perhaps not,” Caroline said. “Perhaps it was packed up to be taken to his home.”
She shook her head. “I adore you, but we all know that isn’t true.” She sighed. “Well, I suppose the next week or two will be spent going through the trunks and boxes, making sure I’m not missing anything. If I can’t sleep tonight, I can start it.”
“No, stay here!” Arabella repeated, and took her hand.
Julia lifted it to her lips and kissed it gently. “Iwillcome stay with you and with Evie many times in the next few weeks and months. I’ll need the support I know you want to give. But tonight I want to be alone with this. I want to feel it without anyone’s eyes watching me. Please, just let me go to your old house and we’ll work it all out later.”
She could see how much her sisters wanted to deny her that. To hold her here. To wrap her in their care and love and makethe bad things melt away. That’s what they’d tried to do her whole life.
But this…this washermistake. Her pain. Her mixed emotions of regret and relief and horror at how easily she’d been drawn in by a dangled promise of safety.
She had to face the first part of it alone.
