Alexander walked down the neatly groomed path toward the stable. It was a fine day for the season, with rare bright sunshine and the chirps of birds echoing from the trees around him. Being in nature was calming, which he needed given the past few days.
No matter how he tried to get Laurence alone so he could discuss this marriage, his cousin was adept at avoiding him. He used his houseguests as a shield and even when Alexander did have the odd time when he cornered him, Laurence put him off with a laugh or by ignoring the subject of Julia.
A strange thing. One would think a man in love enough to thwart societal and familial expectation and marry his mistress would be eager to discuss her. To wax poetic about her virtues and turn his family toward her. To ease her way into his world so that they could focus purely on being happy.
But the time since their arrival at Castleton Grange had been troubling in other ways. In his intense observation of Laurence and Julia, Alexander hadn’t seen much affection. She tried, it seemed. She crossed rooms to his cousin, she took his arm, she smiled and tried to drive conversation. Laurence never refused her, but he seemed…almost indifferent. As if by landing her, he now didn’t have to do any work to keep her.
Which was true, of course. To break the engagement would be terrible for her. For both of them. Escape with reputation intact difficult, especially when Society still whispered about the marriage of Julia’s sister Evelina and the Earl of Blackburn.
But it made no sense. Why would Laurence ask for her hand and then show no interest in her? What would be the purpose of trapping her? She could offer no political, social, nor financial advantage. It could only be love that drove him.
Couldn’t it?
Alexander was still pondering that as he rounded the last bend in the path to the stable. He was about to enter the building and ready himself for his ride when he heard something from the brushy area behind the building. At first he thought it more of the birds that had been singing around him all afternoon.
But then he realized the song had words. Broken and soft, but words nonetheless. Someone, a woman, was singing.
“…tiny, small…baby kitty…sweetest girl…”
He wrinkled his brow and slowly made his way around the building, seeking out the guest or servant who was singing the broken words. He caught his breath when he found her.
It was Julia. She was seated in the grass near the stable, a gorgeous little kitten curled up in her lap. She was stroking the cat’s tiny head and singing those nonsensical words, “And you’re a tiny, small baby. Baby kitty mine. Sweetest girl anyone could find.”
Simple little meaningless words that one might sing to a fussy baby or tiny animal like the one she lovingly stared at. When she stopped singing, the kitten raised its head, almost like it was entreating her to continue. Julia tilted her head back and laughed softly, “You cannot wish me to go on. I have no voice for it, little one.”
The cat arched up and rubbed against Julia’s hand. Alexander moved closer to the stable to continue observing even though she hadn’t noticed him yet. Somehow he didn’t want her to. He wanted to see this unguarded moment between her and the animal. He wanted to hear more of her silly song and her laughter.
“Well, at least I have a friend in you,” she said, continuing to pet the cat. “You might be my only one here besides my aunt and she’ll go home after the wedding. So it will be me and you.Alone.”
Alexander’s heart ached for a moment because when Julia said those words, her expression was so forlorn. The pain in her tone wasn’t for show or to manipulate. She trulyfeltalone. He knew it because he had felt the very same emotions many times over the years. That lack that never seemed to be filled.
There were voices from up above on the path and he stepped away so that Julia wouldn’t notice him watching when the other men came. And so that they wouldn’t find her there because they saw him spying. Somehow he didn’t want to be responsible for a bunch of leering gentlemen observing her.
He moved back to the stable and called for his horse to be readied. As he helped and the others arrived for their ride, he couldn’t help but think of Julia. The moment with the cat had been real, just as her smile when she spoke of her sisters had been real a few nights before. Whatever his grandfather said, whatever the circumstances of her engagement to his cousin, shewas a person with a heart and emotions and desires that weren’t just mercenary.
Ones that called to his own in a way that wasn’t…well, it wasn’t right to feel that kind of connection to the pain of his cousin’s future wife.
Which meant Alexander had to put a stop to it.
As the men started out down the road into the wooded paths, he weaved his way through the group to Laurence. His cousin was riding in front of the party with another man they’d gone to school with, Arnold Benson. Never a favorite of Alexander’s and even less so when he reached the two and heard Benson saying, “—and that arse. Like a peach, it is. Lucky man to havethatin your bed every night.”
He waited for his cousin to confront the man, to defend the honor of the woman he would marry, but instead Laurence laughed. Alexander pressed his lips tightly together and angled his way to the front of the group beside him.
“Benson, may I have a moment with my cousin?” he asked.
Benson was still laughing about his remarks regarding Julia, but he nodded. “Of course, of course.”
The rest of the group fell behind them slightly and they were left with a little privacy. Laurence shook his head. “You look miserable. This is supposed to be a party of pleasure.”
“I apologize for ruining your fun,” Alexander said through lightly clenched teeth. “But I’ve been trying to talk to you for days and we must have this out at last. I have concerns.”
Laurence rolled his eyes. “Christ. Why can’t you just take the hint and leave it be? I don’t want to hear it.”
Alexander shook his head. It seemed he hadn’t been wrong that his cousin had been avoiding him not just busy. “Well, I must say it, so it seems we’re at an impasse.”
Laurence moved his horse to the side of the path and called out to the men, “Go on ahead we’ll be right behind you. Findus some birds to shoot.” The rest passed by and once they were gone over the next rise, his cousin speared him with a harsh glance. “I know you’re here to carry Grandfather’s messages, just as you always have been. Don’t you get tired of being his lackey?”
“Yes,” Alexander ground out. “It’s exhausting to have to manage not only his whims but yours. And I won’t sport with your intelligence and tell you he isn’t involved with my being here. But many of my concerns which surround this marriage are my own. This woman has been your mistress for months and then you suddenly wish to marry her? And it would be one thing if you seemed head over heels in love with her, but you don’t. So you’re willing to risk your future, her future, the future of the family name and fortune…for what? Do you even care?”
