She blushed and turned away, catching the attention of the man on her other side at last. She talked with him for a while and Alexander focused on his plate. The supper passed with little other interaction between them.
At last, the meal ended and Laurence rose from the head of the table to announce that the gentlemen would go to the billiard room and the ladies to the salon for drinks.
“Come, Julia,” his cousin said, holding out his arm.
She glanced at Alexander briefly, then went to Laurence and they led the group from the room. The others paired off and Alexander found Julia’s aunt watching him.
“Mrs. Banfield, may I escort you?” he asked, crossing the room to her.
She inclined her head. “That’s very kind. Yes.”
They walked out together, behind the line of other couples. He found himself watching for Julia and Laurence as they made their way through the winding halls. And when he left Mrs. Banfield at the parlor door, he couldn’t help but glance inside to seek out Julia before he broke away from the room with a quick farewell and went to the gentlemen.
Where he belonged.
There had never been a point that Julia had thought fitting into Laurence’s Society would be easy, but somehow she hadn’t pictured it being so hard. And yet she stood in the parlor twenty minutes after supper had ended and she felt the cold detachment of the ladies around her. They didn’t want her here. They wanted her to know it.
Her aunt slipped up to her then, wrapping an arm around her with a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “You’re doing fine, dearest.”
“Am I?” she asked. “I don’t know how to do any of this.”
“Of course you do. Being polite, being interested in others, there’s nothing different about it here than there was in your life as a courtesan,” her aunt said softly.
Julia stifled a laugh. “Oh, I promise you, it very much is.”
Caroline’s cheeks brightened a little. “Your viscount should help you. He ought to have thought of that himself, but men canbe selfish creatures. Speak to him about it. His guidance in the ways of his world and his support with others will help.”
“Yes, you’re right. I know I should talk to him.”
Julia shifted. The fact was that since her arrival that day Laurence had made very little effort to make her feel extra comfortable or at home. She wanted to believe that if she reminded him she was an outsider that he would draw her in and keep her safe. That he would be as Vaughn had been with Evie, guiding her in her role with all the gentle affection and belief that she could need.
But she feared Laurence would not be like that. That if she asked a question of him, she likely wouldn’t enjoy the answer.
“You seemed to be having an intense conversation with Mr. Castleton tonight,” Caroline said, and drew Julia from her thoughts and into an equally unsettling reality.
“No!” she burst out, and then realized how energetic she sounded about the man. “I mean, I suppose I was. He doesn’t like me. If I believed it, I know it now after we had an encounter in the library where he all but accused me of being a danger to his cousin.”
Her aunt drew back. “Oh. Well, that isn’t positive.”
“It wasn’t.” She let out a long sigh. “I was trying to ingratiate myself a bit more at supper, that’s all.”
Caroline squeezed her again. “I know this isn’t easy. But if you are to do it, we mustn’t let the cracks show.” They both looked at the group of ladies across the room. “Starting right now. You are the hostess of this affair. Take over. Let them see that their snobbery means nothing to you. And if you need to scream or cry about it to me afterward, we can do that in my chamber.”
Julia smiled at her. “You’re right I know. I’ve worn a mask a great deal of my life. There’s nothing different now. I can’t let these people or Alexander Castleton best me.” She pushed hershoulders back and tried to do what she’d done dozens of times during her years as a courtesan: play a role.
“Ladies,” she said, sweeping up a bottle from the sideboard and coming toward the group and ignoring the side glances and little whispers between some of them. “I can see there are drinks that need refreshing. Please won’t you let me offer you more madeira? And Mrs. Gregson, I have been admiring that gown all night, I must know your seamstress.”
They made room for her. She didn’t give them much choice, and she sank into the game. Sank into the role.
And tried to sink into a future that left her feeling out of sorts and filled with questions. One that she hoped might one day allow her some peace if she could survive this awkward beginning.
CHAPTER 8
Afew days after the opening gathering, Julia still hadn’t summoned the courage to speak to Laurence about assisting her with the transition from courtesan to viscountess. The truth was that she hadn’t had much time to do so. Despite being at his country estate for their hurried wedding, they were rarely alone together. He was busy with estate business and time with his friends and guests and his cousin. Always his cousin watching from across rooms and whispering God knew what to him.
Still, she’d managed to steal her fiancé away for an unchaperoned walk on this fine late spring morning and she had to make the best of it. She clung to his arm a little tighter and smiled up at him. “How are you enjoying the party?” she asked.
He seemed pulled from distraction and looked down at her. “Oh. It’s very fine. I do love a country gathering. It’s so much less stuffy than back in London where every move is watched and judged.”
