She bowed her head. “Okay, it’s avoidance. I just, um, I can’t stand the constant barrage that he’s out there, watching me. That he knows where I am, and what I’m doing. If I wasn’t here, he couldn’t find me.”
“Jenny,” he said.
She felt her cheeks getting hot, because she felt stupid. It was a stupid idea, one of those random things that popped into her head with no general thought process. And she felt a fool for saying it aloud.
“Jenny,” he said again, his voice softer.
She raised her head a little.
“Look at me.”
She met his gaze, his expression much softer than the one he’d had a few moments before.
“I would be honored to be your mate, but only because you wanted to be mine. I would not want you with me because of fear. That is a dishonor to us both.”
“I understand.” But she didn’t. Not really. What he said was so kind. Beautiful, almost. Yet why did it feel like he’d just broken up with her?
Did he just say he didn’t want to commit to this? To her?
She rubbed her head. What was wrong with her? One minute she was furious that this happened and couldn’t believe it.
Now she was sad that Karuk wasn’t interested?
Had she lost her mind?
“I don’t know. I just don’t know,” Jenny said.
“What are you attempting to understand?” Karuk asked.
She glanced at him. “You were here, right? The whole, ‘we’re destined to be mated’ thing? I mean, that’s kinda a big deal. On my world, that’s a lot.”
“We do not have to move forward with anything if you do not wish it.”
“That’s the problem. I don’t know if I want to or not. On one hand,” she glanced at him and waved her hand. “You’re, well, you. And I can’t deny it, you’re very attractive. Suddenly we’re committed to a life together. It’s not even a dating and a see where it goes, thing, it’s like, boom, we’re together. And from the other side, what if you wind up being just like every other male, who wants to control me? I don’t want that either. The idea that I could be right back where I started before I came here terrifies me. And I wouldn’t have Earth to be safe on, and I wouldn’t have space. And that’s a lot, okay?”
“It is. Though we can end any arrangement we create, after thirty days. Even Polly said that she and her mate made a similar bargain when they came together, as a temporary ruse.”
“But they wound up being together in the end.”
“That was how their arrangement ended. That does not mean ours would end that way if we don’t want it to.”
“What would be the point?” Jenny asked. “What’s our goal, then?”
“Mine would be to make sure you are secure and safe.”
“Here? Or on the planet?”
“Anywhere you feel unsafe, I will secure.”
“Why?” Jenny asked. “What do you get out of it?”
“Knowing that you’re secure, that will be enough.”
She raised her eyebrow. Granted, she hadn’t known him long, but something about his expression made her wonder about his motives.
“No one does anything strictly out of kindness. What is your end game?”
“I expect nothing. I choose to do this, because it is the right thing to do. For a friend.”
