“What is so hilarious?” he demanded. “Are the contents of the missive entertaining, then?”
Creston shook his head. “I would not know,” he said. “I’ve not even read it. Cruz and I were simply talking about what we will do after we leave Blackchurch. I suggested piracy, but he does not think our names are fearsome enough.”
Payne, whose wife had actually been a pirate and still controlled a Portuguese faction, laughed the loudest. “God love ye, lads,” he said. “Ye must have a name that strikes fear intae the heart of men, and I’m afraid Cruz is right—ye canna be a pirate and be simply ‘Creston.’”
“It is the only name I have,” Creston said. “I suppose I could go by Creston the Bold.”
Payne shook his head. “Not even in yer dreams, lad,” he said. “A pirate name must be something fearsome, not noble. Ye can call yerself Creston the Nightmare or even Cruz the Slug. That might make the seafarers take notice.”
Everyone laughed at Cruz’s expense with such an unglamorous name, but Cruz waved his hand to quiet everyone. “Need I remind you thatmyblood is royal,” he said. “The Sea King has a good ring to it.”
Payne cocked a disapproving eyebrow. “I’ll tell my wife that ye’ll be ready tae challenge her supremacy at some point,” he said, but his focus shifted to Creston. “We came tae see what the missive said, Cres. Is yer brother summoning ye for a marriage?”
Creston lost his humor. With a heavy sigh, he finally looked at the missive in his hand, reading the short but concise message. After a moment, he nodded.
“Aye,” he said. “My betrothed has evidently arrived at The Black Cock. He wants me to come.”
“You are a grown man,” Cruz said, frowning. “Why does he think he can control your life like this?”
“Because he can,” Fox said quietly. Much like Creston, he came from a fine noble family and had grown up in that atmosphere. He knew what Creston knew. “He is the head of the family and he can marry off whom he wishes. To create alliances, to create peace… it does not matter. Creston has no choice.”
“How are you feeling about this?” Sinclair asked with concern. “We heard about the dictum. Denis said you were… reluctant.”
Creston was staring at the missive, trying to articulate his thoughts. “Did he tell you that by marrying her, I will become the heir to the Earldom of Sidbury?” he said, looking up at the group, who was nodding. “When her grandfather dies, I become the earl. The port of Sidmouth will belong to me, as will a seat in the Septem Ports Alliance. If I marry her, power becomes mine. Royston said this is an incredible opportunity for me, and he is not wrong. I’m just not so sure I want it. Or that I’m ready.”
There wasn’t one man there who didn’t understand that. It was an enormous burden for someone who hadn’t grown up being prepared for it. As the trainers considered his predicament, Ming Tang stepped forward.
He was the wise man of the group, someone whose advice could always be counted on. Creston saw him coming and there was some relief in his expression, but also some angst. He was looking for answers that his own heart couldn’t provide at the moment.
Perhaps someone else could.
“Let me ask you something, Cres,” Ming Tang said in his slightly accented speech that made him sound so incredibly brilliant. “Did you never plan to marry?”
Creston shrugged. “I’d not thought on it, really,” he said, eyeing the men around him. Then he sighed heavily. “The truth is that something from my past has prevented me from thinking about my future when it comes to marriage. We’ve all known each other long enough, and we know something of our pasts, but I would be willing to believe every man here has a secret. Men such as us, with experience and education, do not reach this point in our lives without having something in our past we do not speak of. Mine is the fact that I tried to run off with the woman I love when her father denied us, but our plans were discovered and she was taken from me. That was fourteen years ago and I’ve never forgotten the pain. I’m not sure I ever will.”
Ming Tang nodded pensively, understanding his point but not particularly shocked by the confession. As Creston said, most men their age had something in their past to hide or to ignore.
Sometimes those secrets took on a life of their own.
“And you let that dictate your future?” he said. “Did you assume you were only good for one attempt at marriage and no more?”
Creston looked at him. “This one was different,” he said. “She was pregnant with my child.”
That brought a few raised eyebrows. “What happened?” Sinclair said. “Why didn’t her father give you permission to marry her?”
“Because he did not want a knight who worked so closely with John,” Creston said, looking at the group. “I was a royal knight, much like Fox, only I served the king directly. If John commanded me to intimidate an enemy, then I did. If he told meto eliminate a threat against him, I did. I do not think many of you knew that about me. I was one of his attack dogs.”
It seemed like an odd time for a confession like that, but on the other hand, this was an important moment in Creston’s life, and sometimes men felt the need to confide in their friends. Perhaps he’d not done it before for fear of his colleagues viewing him differently, but the truth was that there were no politics at Blackchurch. There never had been. Blackchurch was a guild that provided one thing—training for warriors. They were educated in politics, but on a wider scope. There were no political leanings and Blackchurch never took a side in any conflicts. It was strictly forbidden.
But a man couldn’t change his past.
Even if he did serve a hated king.
“I do not think there is one man here who hasn’t done something he regretted, Cres,” Tay said quietly. “There is no shame in doing your duty, as you were ordered to do it.”
Creston shrugged. “Mayhap,” he said. “But Mary’s father saw me as a vicious brute. He sent her away and I’ve not seen her since. I do not know what became of her or the child, although I heard she had married a French warlord. But who really knows?”
It was a rather tragic tale, one of lost love and despair. Creston always presented such a strong, even-tempered front, but it seemed he’d been hiding a heartache.
