Be there in an hour.
Words can’t describe how much I hate to admit that I’m having those self-destructive thoughts again. This is the longest it’s been since I’ve had to ask for that hundred back. It makes me want to kill that asshole and bury him in my woods again because he brought everything back.
I was okay. I’d healed enough to not think about Isla every day, to find some satisfaction in work and friends and Lacey. He peeled off the scab and poured alcohol in the wound. What’s harder to admit to myself is that it isn’t Isla that’s on my mind as much now as Silver.
I miss her.
Arlow shows up with a big backpack over his shoulder, a bunch of grocery bags in one hand and a case of beer in theother. “Move your big ass out of the way. This stuff’s heavy,” he says, shouldering past me. He sets the groceries on the counter, strides over to the guest room doorway to toss his backpack on the bed, then returns to the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he pulls out two steaks.
“Slumber party. I brought steaks and potatoes to throw on the grill.”
“That’s not necessary. I’m not that close to the edge. You don’t need to stay.”
“Okay, but Calli wants some bestie time with Silver, and I can’t argue after she’s helped host my family for two months, you know? That would be a dick move.” He shoves the beer into the bottom of the refrigerator. “So, we get some bestie time too.” He removes the folded hundred dollar bill from his wallet and hands it to me. “We can go fishing tomorrow. It’s supposed to be sunny and warm. Might be able to pull some bass if we take the boat out.”
Every ounce of me wants to tell him no. It’s hard to be around people when I feel this way, but if anyone understands, it’s him. He’s been through his own hell and only recently came out the other side. “Fine, but this is not a bestie time slumber party.”
“Well, that means I brought my nail polish and moisturizing masks for nothing, but okay.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I snort. “I’ll go start the grill.” While he gets the food ready, I get the grill going and build a bonfire in my firepit. It’s been a long time since we’ve hung out like this.
“Winter’s really struggling to show itself. That snowdidn’t last a day. Almost January and we’re still swinging up near seventy degrees,” Arlow remarks.
“We got it bad enough last year with that shutdown storm.”
“True, we were due a mild one. Did you get that chimney fixed that you were working on?”
We spend the evening talking about shit that doesn’t matter. It isn’t until after we’ve eaten and had a few drinks that he says, “I know you said you solved your problem. Do you want to tell me what happened? Who was targeting you?”
I don’t hesitate to tell him. Arlow and I hold enough dirt on each other to put both of us away for life, but even without the safety of mutually assured destruction, Arlow’s a man who can be trusted. “Joss’s younger brother.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah.”
He leans down to pick up his beer. “Revenge I guess, but why was he trying to get you to kill the other guy?”
“No idea. We couldn’t find a link between them. Maybe he owed him money or drugs.”
His voice is soft as he approaches the subject. “But he didn’t really know where Isla is?”
“If he did, he took it to the grave with him.” He listens as I give him a run down of everything, including the home invasion, attempted drowning, and how close he came to shooting Justus. “I didn’t have a choice.”
Arlow looks me in the eye and nods his understanding. “I’m glad it’s over.”
We’re both quiet for a while, just watching the flames. When I messaged him, I only wanted to keep the hundred dollar bill that’s given me something physical to hold onto in the past, and let him know I’m struggling, the way I once promised I would when we were both buried in grief. I didn’t expect him to come and stay, but I’m glad he did. It helps remind me there are things to stick around for, even though my life is going back to how it was before.
“What would you think of letting Calli know what’s happened? I won’t tell her anything you don’t want her to know, but it might help Silver if they could talk about what happened to her. If she doesn’t have to keep it all to herself.”
I should’ve thought of that. She was attacked and nearly drowned. It has to be difficult to deal with that on her own now that she isn’t here. “You can tell her.” I run my hands through my hair. “I thought I could keep Silver safe here. I should’ve sent her to stay with you once things got bad. It was fucking selfish.”
Arlow sighs, stretching out his leg to prop his foot against a log. “There was no right answer. That dress was delivered to her job. He may have followed her to my place once he knew you cared about her.” He looks over at me with a knowing expression. “You love her. Of course you wanted to keep her close.”
I shake my head, not willing to get into my feelings for her.
“You don’t have to say it. I know you aren’t in a good place to talk about it. I’m just going to tell you one thing. Doyou remember when I was fighting myself over loving Calli and you told me I hadn’t lost my chance?”
