When her hands tighten on my ass and she pulses around my cock, the world slowly dissolves and is replaced by themost intense, overwhelming sensation I’ve ever felt. I can hear her cries and the desperate groan that rips from my throat, but they come from somewhere far away.
Her name beats in my head as I break apart, scattering in pieces I’m afraid I won’t be able to pull together again.
What the fuck is this woman doing to me?
We fall down beside one another to catch our breath, and after a few minutes, she starts to get up to head to her room as usual. “Don’t,” I murmur, catching her arm. She looks down at me for a long moment, and I’m not sure what’s going on in her head. Hell, I’m not sure what’s going on in mine. Neither of us says another word, but she crawls back into my arms.
Silver lies against me, her head tucked below my shoulder, her breath warm on my skin. The room is dark and quiet, still holding the remains of our sweat and heat. Sex usually takes the edge off, but I can’t settle no matter how long I stare at the ceiling. My chest feels squeezed from the inside.
She curls into me like I’m someone safe. I don’t want to admit to myself how good it feels that she sees me as a sense of security with everything she’s going through. Even if she doesn’t always tell me what’s happening or ask for help.
I glance down at her. Her eyes are closed, but the small movement of her fingers against my ribs tells me she isn’t completely asleep yet. Her hair is a mess on the pillow, tangled and damp at the ends, sticking to her cheek. A pinkflush across her chest is barely visible in the dim light. It makes me think of the way her body softens when I kiss her there. The memory soothes something inside me and puts a pit in my stomach at the same time.
She’s completely relaxed as if nothing bad can reach her here. With me. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know how to hold her after the way she touched me and pretend feelings aren’t twisting themselves around parts of me I thought were dead.
This isn’t love. I can’t love her. Guilt sits like a heavy stone in my stomach, weighing me down. The years haven’t made it any lighter, but it’s especially brutal now, with some asshole bringing everything back to the forefront of my mind.
Silver shifts, and her knee brushes my thigh. A soft, content sound comes from her throat, and something pulls tight behind my sternum. I should move away. I should get out of this bed and stop this before she gets attached to someone she can’t keep. I know Arlow was right when he said she’s been through enough hurt.
But I can’t do it. Instead, I pull her closer, my arm folding around her waist. My movements feel automatic. Some small part of me knows I need her warmth to keep my brain from chewing on itself.
I match my breathing to hers, even and controlled, until the rhythm slows my heartbeat. Exhaustion creeps over me, heavy and thick. Right before sleep drags me under, my mind leaps to the memory of her house burning. The sound of her coughing in my arms, the sight of the flames clawing up the hallway. How close she came to not surviving. Then I see Isla,smiling at me from the passenger seat of my truck. I try to shove that last thought away, but it clings, even as darkness overtakes me.
My surroundings soften and shift. The bed dissolves beneath me and heat presses in. Smoke burns my throat, making my eyes water, and the hallway of her house stretches before me. This isn’t right. The fire is louder, a deep roar that shakes the walls as orange light flashes and pulses. It illuminates a constantly falling curtain of ash and embers. The smoke is thicker, yet somehow, I can see perfectly well through it as it retreats in a circle around me like soap dripped in greasy water.
A slight weight in my arms draws my gaze down to see Silver curled against my chest. Her hair sticks to her cheek. A hard, hacking cough jars her body and when she opens her eyes, they’re smeared with confusion. She tries to take a breath and chokes again on the smoke. The sound slices through me.
“I’ve got you.” My words sound far away, muffled. It doesn’t matter. I turn to get her out, heading down the hall toward the living room, but the house isn’t the same. The hallway elongates with every step I take while the walls flex inward, then bulge out as if the fire is breathing.
When I finally reach the living room, a sharp crack explodes from above, and a burning beam slams down in front of us, throwing sparks across my arms and chest. Heat washes over me and sweat slicks my arms. Silver slips, and I grip her tighter, hauling her higher against me while pivoting to find another safe path.
Then I see her. Isla crouches against the wall with her knees pulled up and her arms wrapped around them. She looks exactly the way she did when I last saw her, with her hair up and her sweater hanging off one shoulder.
My heart seizes and my knees almost give out. I try to call her name, but the smoke claws its way down my throat, muting the sound.
She reaches toward me. “Help me.” The words are thin and trembling beneath the roar. “Please.” Her voice cracks and it feels like something rips open inside my ribcage.
I step toward her as Silver coughs again, a harsh, broken sound. Her body collapses more heavily against me and her head lolls backward. She’s unconscious with her mouth hanging open, still searching for air. I need to get her out, but Isla is right there. I can save them both.
One more step is all I get before an ear-splitting crack makes me freeze. The floor ruptures, each side drawing back and falling away. It leaves a crevice right through the hardwood and earth, with a stream of molten lava running through it.
I could leap it and get to Isla, but not with Silver in my arms. Frantically, I look around for a safe place to put her down. Just for a second. It won’t take long to get over and back, and I’m strong enough to carry them both outside.
There’s no safe place. Everywhere around us is in flames. There’s a small path to the back door, but I’d have to move now to get Silver and myself to safety. The crevice begins to widen, chipping away the floor near Isla.
She looks up at me with an expression of pure despair.Ash and soot mix with her tears, drawing black lines down her cheeks. “Lee! Please!”
What do I do? I can’t leave her. There won’t be time to return. I can’t put Silver down. I look down to see Silver’s eyes still closed, her lips beginning to look dusky. She needs air now or she won’t survive.
I can’t. I can’t do this. My legs suddenly feel like they’re filled with lead. I can’t take a step in either direction, can’t lift a foot at all. The floor looks solid, but it’s like the heat has welded me to the boards. My heart is a panicked animal in my chest.
Isla’s face twists, and she reaches for me again, begging me not to let her burn. Her fingertips shake and her lower lip trembles. “Please, please.” Her voice breaks apart as a sob pushes from her chest.
The sound crushes me. I grip Silver tighter, my hands shaking and muscles screaming as I try again to wrench my legs free. The fire climbs the walls, and a board above us bursts into flames, raining down glowing embers. One lands on Silver’s collarbone, burning her, but she doesn’t react. I brush it off with a frantic swipe.
The room grows brighter and hotter. The heat hits my face so fiercely I feel my skin crackle, and Isla cries out again. The horror of it is too much. I can’t get to her. I can’t get Silver out. They both need me, and I can’t save them.
The firelight flickers over Isla and her skin ripples, like the lake on a breezy day. I blink, trying to clear the ash that stings my eyes and look again.
