CHAPTER 44
Olivia
AUGUST
THIRTEEN WEEKS, FIVE DAYS
Mama’s hungry morning, noon, and night, baby is growing, and a new phase has bloomed. Second trimester, here we come.
Fifteen days.
For fifteen days I’ve watched along with the rest of Kentucky while Franklinville and the forests surrounding it burn. I’ve gotten up every day to watch the local news, praying for rain, hoping for the wind to change. And, finally, it seems as if the crews that have been brought in to help control the blaze are making progress. Asher has been added to a team of structural firefighters—made up of men and women from surrounding states—working tirelessly and staying in temporary camps like the wildland firefighters to prevent and put out fires in the wealthy neighborhoods of Franklinville on the west side. Most of the homes affected are in the wooded mountains, and a lot of them have been lost. I’ve barely talked to him, only briefly over text because he’s been going nonstop, and there are times when he just doesn’t have service. His longest shift was eighteen hours as all the crews battled to save one of Franklinville’s most historic streets.
The only thing keeping me centered is visiting my house every day and seeing the progress there. All the walls are dry-walled, and they’ll be mudding and taping this week before putting down flooring. My Pinterest page is full of shelving ideas, décor, and furniture, like new stools for the island and an updated kitchen table and chair set.
I officially entered my second trimester a week ago. Apparently, little bear is the size of a peach, and every time I check my app I wonder why the hell they compare the baby to the most random of foods.
A few breakfasts with my dad, shopping with my mom, and a lunch with Ginger and CeCe have helped pass the time over the last two weeks too. I’ve even run into Nash and Haden a couple times—Haden just outside my shop, and Nash at the gas station down the street from my house. With everyone around me, it’s hard to feel lonely, though there’s still a void with Asher gone.
At almost fourteen weeks pregnant, I’m no longer feeling sick. I’m feeling incredible, and at my last ultrasound I was measuring a few days ahead. Asher was so upset to miss it so I recorded the ultrasound and texted it to him along with a new photo.
I’ve been walking with Duke every day down the path through Asher’s wooded property to the basin of his creek. It’s a great little hike to clear my head, and the reward comes halfway through when the channel opens up into a small center pool of crystal-clear water. Wild lilies grew around it in July—though they’re now dying off now.
Although it’s been only two weeks, it feels like so long since I’ve seen him. I can tell Duke is missing him too.
“Thinking about him, aren’t you?” Cassie asks me now from the other side of the clothing rack as we shop in the cutest little baby boutique in town.
“That easy to tell?” I ask.
“Well, yes, seeing as I just asked you what you thought of this, and I didn’t get a response because you were off in la-la land.” Cassie holds up a little dress.
“Too fussy. CeCe’s baby will be sporty,” I say, matter-of-fact. “Nash will have her in skates before she’s two.”
“True.” Cassie laughs as she places the dress back on the rack. “So … penny for your hot firefighter thoughts?”
I breathe out a sigh as I sift through the clothes.
“We had this pact. No strings. Keep everything uncomplicated for the baby,” I explain as Cassie nods in understanding. “But we just felt so in sync before he left. Every time I looked at him, every time our fingers brushed, it was like my skin was set on fire.”
“Been there,” Cassie admits.
“Now with him gone, I miss him and, I don’t know, it reminds me that …” I lean in so no other shoppers can hear me. “We aren’t permanent, and this is the life he lives.”
“His job worries you?” Cassie queries, and I’m instantly glad to have someone to talk to.
“Yes. It’s such an unpredictable life; things can change in an instant.”
“On the flip side,” she notes with a smirk, “it’s hot as hell.”
I laugh as I pick up a little sleeper decorated with tiny bears and a matching hat. Thishasto come home with me.
“Most see what he does as brave and heroic,” Cassie continues.
“And I do too. Of course I do. But I also see the giant, glaring risk.”
“How are you ladies doing? Anything I can help you with?” Maria, the owner of the boutique, asks.
“Great, thank you.” I smile at her. “We’re just browsing.”
