“I’m totally capable of having this baby on my own, and I’m not telling you this to force you to be involved, but I’m thinking—” She tucks a piece of her wavy hair behind her ear then brings her eyes back to mine. Christ, she’s so beautiful.
“I want to keep the baby, Asher,” she finally says, her brows pinched in determination.
My spine tingles and my heart thunders in my chest. I never saw myself with a child. My father was a fucking terrible parent, and my childhood was a total shit show. I have no idea how to be an example for another human, but somehow, in this moment, I know that I want Olivia to have my baby.
A few seconds pass, but it feels like hours as Olivia rambles on. “I hope you can understand, I’m the only home this baby has. I’m being pulled … toward the all-consuming light.”
“The light?” My eyes snap to hers. “Of being a mom.”
She smiles softly with a shrug as a thousand images run through my head. Olivia’s face in the early hours of the morning as she rocks in the soft overstuffed chair that sits in the corner of my bedroom, her belly swelling with our baby. Her soft copper hair tied back in a long braid, flying out behind her as she chases our child through the grass. They make me feel as though the air is being stolen from my lungs.
“Anyhow.” She straightens up now, setting her glass down on the coffee table. “I know this is a lot to take in, and I only found out yesterday. There are still a million things I have to do.”
She places a hand on her curvy hip and all I can think about is how soft they felt under my fingers.
“I have to go back to the doctor next week, and I need to tell my parents. But I’ve got lots of support, and you don’t needto worry. I don’t want anything from you … forme.”
“Olivia—”
“I want to keep this totally uncomplicated. Make the baby our priority.”
It’s as though she doesn’t even register that I am here. The few feet of space between us feels too vast, and I fight the urge to close it. All I want to do is take her into my arms for one minute, to give in and breathe in the sugary scent of her hair. And fuck it, she’s carrying my baby. So I do. And this actionfinallyhas her falling quiet as I press my lips to the top of her head and find my center and allow myself to listen to the steady staccato of our heartbeats.
“You’re not doinganythingalone,” I reassure her, holding her tighter. “Understand?”
A whole host of emotions, ones that I try my hardest to always keep at bay, run through me and I can’t get close to getting a handle on them. Shock. Because this is the last fucking thing I expected her to tell me tonight. Fear. Because, holy fuck, I have no idea how I’m going to keep her and our child safe from the darkness of my family’s shadow. And strength. Because no matter what it takes, Iwillkeep them safe. Ihave to.
Fuck, if I’m this much of a mess, I can’t imagine how she feels.
I kiss her head through her hair again, lingering this time as I hear a tiny sob escape her throat. Animal instinct to take all that fear away kicks in.
“It’s gonna be okay, Liv. This is …” I push her hair from her face.
“Unexpected?” She laughs, staring up at me.
“Fuck yeah, it is,” I admit. “But we’ve got this. You and me.”
Her fists tighten against my T-shirt and then she’s pushing back, swiping at her tears. I give her some space.
“I don’t want us to be a burden to you,” she says with sad, pleading eyes.
Burden? The fuck?
“And I’m not asking for any kind of commitment tome,” she continues. “But if you want to be involved with the baby, I need a dad who will show up every damn time.”
It hits me square in the chest that Olivia thinks I could actually leave her high and dry.
I lift her chin to meet her gaze pointedly.
“So that we’re clear, you could never be a burden. And if this is what you want, I’m in.Allin,” I tell her honestly. “From the get-go. The doctor, your parents. All of it. I have no idea how to be a … father—” I stop. The word feels foreign in my mouth.
“I have no idea how to be a mother,” Olivia offers as tears spill over onto her cheeks. I can’t help but reach out and wipe them away for her.
“Aye, that’s why we’re given months to prepare, to learn.”
I take her hand. I can’t help myself. This woman is carrying my child, so fuck it. I bring her wrist up to my lips to kiss it.
“What do we do now?” she asks helplessly.
