He moves closer and drops to his knees in front of me, placing his head in my lap and his arms around my waist.
“I’m so sorry,” he cries against my bulging stomach. “I’m so fuckin sorry, Liv. My baby … I’m so fuckin sorry. I should’ve told you everything. But no one’s ever loved me the way you do. Because I am my own man, not James Donovan’s son.”
His eyes are pained, but as he looks up at me, my hands move to stroke his hair. I’m not mad, I’m settled, knowing the whole truth about him. The horrors he suffered to get here. Whatever bad he came from,thisman is good.
“I want you to know, everything else I’ve told you is the truth. The moment I could leave that world, I did. I hoped that part of me would die in New York. I gave my uncle a contact in case of emergency. He promised he’d never use it, but he had no choice. My father’s businesses would be at a standstill if I didn’t sign all that paperwork. For what it’s worth, we’ll never see him or anyone from my family again.”
He kisses my belly one more time and I stand, needing to stretch out my aching back.
“How do you know?”
“Bíonn ciúin ciontach,” he says quietly and I realize those are the words inked into his forearm. My eyes drop there, and I skim my fingers over it. I noticed it the first night he took me home in his truck.
“The guilty are silent. It’s our most solemn vow. Pete’s word is his bond, and he’s promised me a code of silence that can’t be broken. He would die first.”
Asher wipes his eyes with the back of his hand as he stands, moving closer to place his hands on my shoulders.
“I can’t expect you to love me now, but I love you, Liv. I love you and little bear so fucking much. I’ll always take care of you both, every day, whether we’re together or not.” I can see him breaking as he says the words. “You’ll never want for anything. I promise you that. And I’ll die before I let anything, or anyone, hurt you. But I won’t behim,and I won’t force you to stay if you don’t feel safe.”
I watch as he backs up and moves to pick up his keys from the kitchen counter.
“Freeze, Reed.” I move closer to him. “You’re not going anywhere. Neither of us are.” I will not let this man suffer because of his past. Not when he has so much future to look forward to.
“I see the man you are shining through your father’s shadow.” I place my hand on his bearded jaw. “The man who wasdyingto get out, who would become someone his own child would look up to.” My voice is croaky. “You think I wouldn’t want you? That I would turn my back on you because of who your father is?”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
I take a breath, trying to order my thoughts.
“I don’t remember my birth parents. I spent a long time grieving them and wondering who I was supposed to be. But I grew up in the best home. I couldn’t have been more loved, felt safer or more supported than I did. If my birth parents hadn’t died, who knows what life I would’ve lived? I’ve spent my whole life planning for the unexpected, because I thought if I had a plan, then nothing could go wrong like that again. But because I was constantly planning, trying to predict the future, I never felt settled in the present.” I smile softly as this truth registers with me faster than I can say it. I slide my hand down into his and revel in the safety of his touch.
“But had my parents lived, I never would’ve met Ginger, or CeCe, or the Ashbys, who are my family too. I wouldn’t havethislife. I wouldn’t love you.” The lump in my throat threatens to break. “What I’m trying to say, Ash, is that I finally feel settled with you. I know now that I’m where I’m supposed to be.”
He clears his throat and avoids my eyes, always trying to bestrong.
“When I see you, all I see is Asher Reed. The man who escaped a life of abuse, sin, and evil. There’s no one left to hurt us now; we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be.” My eyes bore into his. “There’s no guilt here, no shame, and Ichooseyou. I loveyoujust like I did yesterday. And now we can finally feel peace, right here at the base of this mountain.” I point outside. “Just like your mama wanted.”
It’s at those words that Asher loses his fight to hold back the tears. His hands come up to cradle my face, and he’s so damn beautiful I almost lose my breath. I love every piece of this man’s tormented, loving soul.
“I fucking love you so much, Livi girl,” he husks out.
“You and me,” I say, just as he’s said to me so many times before. A swift kick between us has both of us looking down at my belly. “See.”
His arms are back around me in a blur and his face is buried in my hair. Another kick between us has him chuckling.
“I hear you, little bear, loud and clear.”
Dick jumps off of the sofa and moves to nuzzle into my leg. And it’s at that precise moment that I feel a slow trickle down the inside of my thigh before a little pool of liquid lands at my feet on the hardwood floor.
CHAPTER 62
Asher
Olivia looks down at the floor, her face contorting.
“What the fuck?” she bites out, cringing and gripping her belly. “It … feels like Braxton Hicks, butfuck,it’s a lot worse.” She’s gripping onto my arm, her nails leaving little crescent moons in my skin. “I’m over three weeks from my due date. Dr. Allen said I’d probably be late, not early!”
The contraction seems to subside after a few more moments, and she takes a deep breath.
