Olivia
Ishould’ve let Asher tell me about his past the first night he woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare.
No grown man has nightmares like that unless he’s lived through something very, very bad. And instead of letting him, I brushed it off, my head in the clouds, believing his father was a businessman with some shady ties. I told him itdidn’t matter.But I know now unequivocally that I was wrong.
The look in his uncle’s eyes told me I’m missing a lot of vital information about the father of my unborn child. Now I’m not backing down until he tells me everything.
“I wanted to tell you, that night …” he starts.
“But I stopped you.” I breathe out a sigh as he sits, placing his head in his hands.
“I used to be like him.” He sniffs in a breath, looking at me with so much sorrow in his steely eyes. “I told you I couldn’t be the Prince Charming you wished for. And that’s true, but not because I couldn’t give you what you need. Because Iwasthe villain,” he adds, his voice hoarse. “I’ve hurt men, Olivia. I’ve watched my fatherkillmen and stood by idly.”
My breath catches and I adjust my position. My damn back is killing me.
“I don’t expect you to ever want to look at me again after I tell you this,” he says, defeated, sucking in a deep breath. “My family nameisDonovan, just like I told you. But … my father was James Ari Donovan. He was the head of our family before he died. In the world of organized crime, my family is known as the Northern Saints.”
My mouth falls open, because there aren’t many people who don’t know who they are. The organization is as notorious as the Hounds of Hell or the Capones. I guess I just never knew their leader’s name.
“Mafia,” I whisper what I had already assumed.
“Yes,” he answers firmly. “I’ve stolen, lied, cheated, beaten men within an inch of their life. All before the age of eighteen.”
Oh my God.
“I watched as my father hurt my mother, tortured her with other women, with his words. He was evil, and he raised me to be just like him.”
My spine tingles at what he’s telling me. But when I look at Asher, I don’t see the man he’s speaking of.
It all makes sense now why he never got close to anyone, was so closed off to real emotion, and never wanted to settle into anything real. How does a man who was raised on pure hate ever believe in love?
“My uncle had been trying to get in contact with me for months. I kept it to myself when I should’ve told you,” he says, his jaw almost popping in frustration. “I knew my father was sick, and even though my uncle tried to get me to see him, I had no desire to. And I told him so, repeatedly. I thought he would go away, I thought all of this was just a last-ditch effort to bring me back into the family.”
“It wasn’t?” I ask.
“It was. But he also wanted something else.” Asher looks tothe floor before moving his eyes up to mine. “When I left, my father disowned me. But it seems that, as he got sicker, he started looking back on his life.”
I swallow tears, imagining Asher choosing a different path. The path life had planned for him. The life his father had planned for him. I can’t imaginethatman.
“Pete says, as he got closer to death, he would mutter regrets and apologies. He had me re-added to his will, Liv. He left me everything.”
“What is everything?” I ask, wanting to understand every detail of this world.
“His empire. All the businesses, nine million in liquid cash, his house in Scarsdale. Every last blood-tainted cent.”
I suck in a breath. “So you own all of it now?”
God, what does a man even do with all that money … that power? Where does that leave us—
“Fuck no,” he says simply as he shakes his head. “That’s why Pete was here. I just signed it all over to him.” His hand comes back cautiously over mine. “I think I’m … fuck, I’m finally … free.”
Asher stands, turning his body to face out the back window. His hands rest on his hips as he stares out into the dark nothingness of the snowy yard, and then the woods beyond.
“When I met you, I was drawn to you straight away. I felt protective of you and I didn’t knowwhy.” He turns to face me and I watch him, unable to move.
“I felt drawn to you too,” I admit.
“I know now it’s becauseyouwere the sun. The light I was seeking to pull me from all the darkness of my past.” He chokes on his words a little. “And you fucking did, Liv. You and little bear, you fucking saved me … You made me into the man I always wanted to be. The man I never thought Ideservedto be. But you could’ve been hurt tonight, or worse. All I did was lead the darkness right to you.”
