“Things have changed between you two now. It’s pretty obvious,” Nash comments as he looks out at the lush green land in front of us.
“They have. Drastically. I think … fuck, no, I don’t think, Iknow,I’m in love with her, man. But I have this incessant needto protect her. And I will not put her in harm’s way because of where I came from.”
Nash looks down at his coffee, then back to me. “Your past isn’t my business. I only know what you’ve told me, but it’s all I need. I only care about the man you are now, and I know you’re a good man. A friend. The way you look at her, it’s obvious how you feel about her. And the way she looks at you? That makes it obvious she feels the same.”
I glance at Olivia; she’s perched on the sofa just across from CeCe, holding the most adorableandterrifying little person I’ve ever met. But Olivia’s not scared at all. She’s a natural, smiling down at Ruby with so much goddamn love in her eyes it makes me desperate for it to be our turn, for us to get our happy ending.
“It just scares the shit out of me thinking that I could lose her, especially when, hell, I think this is what it feels like to be happy.”
Nash smirks. “Olivia is like a sister to me. She’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and one of the most understanding. Take it from me. Not facing your demons? Letting them cripple you? They’ll catch up to you at some point, regardless of whether you try to keep them at bay. In my opinion, and speaking from experience, it’s better to get ahead of them then deal with the aftermath. You have to learn to trust that she’ll love you anyway, accept every part of who you are, even the ugly parts. All love really is, is finding someone who brings you so much happiness, so much fuckin’ joy, that the devils you’re haunted by don’t stand a damn chance.”
I raise my mug at him with a grin. “When did you get so fucking smart?”
“Since they became my life.” He nods inside. “And I’ll let you in on a little secret. You may not have told her yet, but Olivia and your baby, they’ve already become your life. It’s written all over you.”
I look out at the lake. I’ve never been good at talking, so the fact that we’re even having this conversation astonishes me. I don’t think I could put into words how I feel about Olivia, but I know I have to try. As I bring my mug up to my lips, my eyes land on a stack of wood out near Nash’s shed at the water.
“That olive wood?” I ask, pointing toward it.
“Yeah.” He nods. “Shame. I had to cut the whole damn tree down in the summer. It was getting too close to my power lines. It’s pretty rare for them to get that big, from what I’m told.”
“It is,” I confirm. “What are you doing with it?” I’m curious now; I must be hanging around Olivia too much because I’m starting to hatch a plan.
“Right now, you’re looking at it.” He chuckles. “Maybe fire-wood.”
“Fuck no,” I grumble. “Mind if I take it off your hands?”
“It’s yours,” he agrees right away. “You’ll be doin’ me a favor, to be honest.”
“Thanks, and uh, thanks for the talk too.” I tip my chin to him. “I mean it.”
“That’s what friends are for.” Nash lifts his coffee in a cheers and, as we finish our chat, I’m already designing in my head. I may have a hard time expressing to Liv exactly how I feel, but I know for damn sure I canshowher.
CHAPTER 52
Olivia
MID-SEPTEMBER
TWENTY-TWO WEEKS
Together, we created a life. Half you, half me, and entirely ours. Now we’re over halfway there.
“What is all this?” I ask as I slide open the patio door after the longest Thursday I can remember. My mouth hangs open as I take in Asher’s deck. It has been totally transformed, and I’m having a hard time looking at everything all at once. I should’ve known by all the questions he was asking me over text this afternoon—when I’d be home, how much I still had to do at the store—that he was planning something. He knows I’ve been working a lot lately, and that I have lists upon lists of things I need to get taken care of and planned for before the baby comes. Duke is already outside with Asher, but Dick follows close by my heel, giving my ankles a quick, loving rub (and nearly tripping me in the process) before disappearing into the yard.
“Thought you could use a night to relax, little mama, get you through the last day of the week tomorrow.” He smirksthat beautiful grin at me, and my heart skips a little beat with how incredible he is. “Rom-com-athon.”
Dear universe. Please let me keep him?
Asher has moved all of the outside furniture, which now sits against the railing facing the back of the house on the fully covered part of the deck. The sofa is covered in blankets and cozy pillows and the side tables are decorated in flameless candles, their glow lighting up the darkening sky as twinkle lights hang overhead from the beams. The coffee table boasts a pizza, salad, and garlic bread, as well as a charcuterie of dark chocolate, fruit, and movie candies.
“You’re too good to me.” I set my purse down on the sofa and toe off my comfortable Birkenstock sandals.
Asher approaches and kisses me lightly on the lips, then places his big hand over the swell of my belly, which he does every day now, saying hi to little bear too.
It’s amazing how much I’ve grown. At twenty-two weeks we can see an actual baby, a real human with arms and legs flailing around, very active inside me. I’ve felt tiny kicks and flutters recently, and I’m so excited to really feel him or her moving around so that Asher can experience them too.
The last few weeks have been a blur with Asher working doubles because Walker has had to be at the ranch a lot of nights. Which means we’re only meeting in passing. Well, specifically, in bed, devouring each other until the early hours of the morning before we both pass out and start another day. Which means this night means everything to me. Finally, a night just for us.
