“Keep at it. She’ll confide in you when she’s ready. If there’s anyone she will ever talk to, it’s you. You two have always been close.”
“I know. It just… well, it hurts seeing her this way, this tormented. And if I’m being honest, it breaks my heart that she doesn’t feel like she can tell me. How are things at home?”
"It’s a bit of a circus back here without you. Alex tried to use the blender, turning the kitchen into a makeshift tropical smoothie bar—minus the cups.”
"Classic Alex." The image brought a reluctant smile to my lips despite the gravity of my situation.
"Yeah, and Christine is convinced she's the next master chef. She wants to cook dinner for us. I'm getting the fire extinguisher ready as we speak."
"Brave man." I matched his lightness, a counterbalance to the weight pressing on my chest. "Anything else?"
"Angel's struggling, Eva."
The words rippled through me like a cold current. I leaned against the wall of the bungalow.
"Still having nightmares?" My voice was a mere whisper.
"Every night." Matt's voice cracked like the surface of a frozen lake underfoot. "She cries for you and Olivia. She keeps asking when you're coming home."
A mother's guilt clawed at me, sharp and unrelenting. "I'm working on it," I said, the promise steeling my resolve. "I'll fix this."
"I know you will. And I don’t mean to rush you; I just want to let you know you’re missed. But take care of our girl first, Eva." The softness in his plea wrapped around me like a lifeline. "We need you both safe."
"Of course." I pressed my fingertips to my temple, willing strength into my bones. “I’m doing everything I can.”
“I know you are.”
"Give Angel a kiss from me, will you? Tell her… tell her Mommy's catching the bad dreams."
"Will do."
He paused, and even without seeing him, I knew he was wearing that half-smile, which was all reassurance and heart. "Get back to us soon, superhero."
"Count on it."
I ended the call, tucking the phone away with a newfound urgency pumping through my veins. Angel needed me. Olivia needed me. I could only be in one place. Time was slipping through my fingers.
I needed to step up my game.
Chapter18
I sat down nextto Olivia, the plush chair cushion yielding to my weight. The scent of salt and hibiscus breezed through the room. I needed her to see me, not just as an FBI agent or a worried mother.
"Olivia," I began, my voice even, "when I was about your age, I faced something… it nearly broke me."
Her attention drifted from her hands, a slight tilt of her head. It was the smallest window, but enough for me to slip through.
“Back then, I had a friend. He was more than a friend, really." My heart hammered from the emotions I'd locked away. "You know the story, or at least some of it. It was actually Matt. We were childhood friends."
Her eyebrows knitted together, curious despite herself.
"Everyone thought we were just close. Best friends till the end, you know. But it was more. I already had feelings for him, but I was terrified." I paused, swallowing hard. "Terrified of him not feeling the same, of losing him as a friend."
"Mom…." Olivia's voice was a feather, soft and uncertain.
"Olivia, I buried those feelings so deep that I convinced myself they weren't real." I reached across, my fingertips brushing hers. "I left town and met your dad. It wasn’t until I returned many years later that I finally reconnected with those feelings. They had been there all the time. But we lost many years."
She looked up now, her guard momentarily down. Eyes wide, searching mine for the truth.
