“It was his brother, Will. Jesse’s twin. They. He…” I pressed a palm to my forehead. “He pretended to be Jesse.”
Miriam just stared at me like she wasn’t sure whether or not I’d lost the plot. I didn’t blame her. It sounded ridiculous. Impossible. If I hadn’t lived it, I wouldn’t have believed it either.
“Will,” she finally mused. “I remember him as well. Did they really switch places, with Will coming here in Jesse’s stead?”
I nodded, my eyes stinging again. “Apparently, Jesse wasn’t quite pleased about the arrangement, but the family paid him no mind. They simply sent his brother in as a substitute. I was collateral damage.”
Her shock immediately gave way to anger. “The nerve of those people. When did you find out?”
“A few days ago.”
Miriam exhaled slowly. “I don’t even know what to say. What appalling behavior.”
“It really was, but I also sort of understand why Will did it. Why he agreed to step in for his brother. It seems it’s something of a pattern with him.”
Her lips pursed into a stern pout. “Siblings relationships are often tricky. You know that yourself. Better than most. It is not, however, an excuse to humiliate someone else.”
“I know, but I’m not just embarrassed, Miri. I’m hurt. I don’t even know what was real anymore. Everything he said and did. How am I supposed to trust any of it?” I shook my head before I let it hang forward, trying to focus on my breathing instead of how much it was all tearing me apart. “I think I was in love with him. With Will. But now I’m supposed to marry someone else. Someone I barely know.”
I let out a small, broken laugh as tears started streaming down my cheeks again. “I can’t. I can’t possibly go through with the wedding while I’m in love with the groom’s twin brother.”
Miriam reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Don’t think about that right now.”
I frowned. “How can I not?”
“You’re exhausted, darling,” she said. “You’re going through something incredibly overwhelming and you’re trying to make decisions about the rest of your life while you’re still in the middle of it. This simply isn’t the time.”
I opened my mouth to argue but instantly snapped it shut when she gave me a look that said she wasn’t going to indulge me. After sliding an arm around my shoulders for a hug, she squeezed me tight, then let go and stood up.
“Sleep now,” she said firmly. “I’ll make sure you’re not disturbed, so get some rest and we’ll look at the situation with a fresh mind in the morning.”
“That’s annoyingly logical of you,” I murmured. “I don’t know if sleep is going to fix this, Miri.”
“It won’t, but it might make it easier to see clearly.”
Fair enough.
I hadn’t been getting much sleep since I’d left here. Those nights I’d spent in Will’s arms had been blissful, but even then, I’d known he was hiding something from me and it had kept me from getting much rest.
She smoothed a hand over my shoulder. “I’ll check on you in the morning.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. “Good night.”
“Good night, Lady Roderick, and in case no one else remembers to say this, welcome home. It’s good to see you. We’ve really missed you around here.”
She gave me a small, reassuring smile before leaving the room, closing the door quietly behind her. I lay back on the bed, still trying to work up the courage for that shower, but as I rolled my head to the side, I saw my phone on the bedside table.
It would be so easy to call him. Just to hear his voice. My fingers twitched slightly, like they were considering reaching for it on their own if I wouldn’t do it.
I missed him so much that it felt like I’d left a body part in America instead of a man I clearly didn’t know half as well as I’d thought I did.
But I also knew that calling him would only make things worse. Potentially complicate them even more. That was the last thing any of us needed. I finally stood up and went to gather my toiletries.
Perhaps Miriam was right. Perhaps this really would all look better in the morning. It certainly couldn’t look any worse.
CHAPTER 43
WILL
