‘Audrey isn’t going to break your confidence,’ he says, ‘but if you can’t tell your mum, I will have to. She needs to know.’
Parker looks in despair from him—bad cop—to me.
‘It will be okay. She’ll know what to do. This is her job,’ I assure her.
I feel Fraser here now, circling the three of us, holding us up. Smoothing the way, as if this whole encounter, right when I’m needed, was meant to be. Because this—after all those lunches and lifts and cheering on sidelines, all that help with homework and soothing her grazes and calming her nightmares—thisfeels more important than anything else. It feels like my motherhood moment.
‘A very clever young woman told me mental health issues aren’t a choice,’ I say. ‘And you know where she likely heard that? From her psychiatrist mum. Trust me, Parker, she was there for me in a big way. She’ll be brilliant with this if you let her be. And …’ I look at Josh.God, how have we ended up in something together?‘Your uncle and I are here for you, too. I could come with you and help talk to her if you like?’
She’s trying to hold herself together. Thirteen is a difficult age at the best of times, worse with the snowballing trauma she’s lived through. And when she can’t keep her tears at bay, she throws her arms around my neck. ‘I don’t care what Mum thinks,’ she whispers. ‘She’s wrong. You’ve always been awickedstepmother.’
‘Keep me posted?’ I ask Josh after we’ve dropped her back. I really didn’t want a reason for us to have to keep in touch, but if there ever was one, this is it. Parker has Maggie. And, as much as I hate this, I feel like between us, Josh and I represent Fraser.
‘It sounds like you’ve been through a lot,’ he says, his voice compassionate. I am not going to fill him in on any more of that. ‘You know you can always ask me for help. I’m not the enemy you think I am.’
He isexactlythe enemy I think he is. I shake my head and turn to go, but he grabs my arm.
‘There’s something else,’ he says, looking very much as though he doesn’t want to elaborate. He checks the time. ‘I’ve got a meeting now, but can we find a time to talk?’
‘Do we have to?’ I know this man. He’s always looking for a crack in the door to push through.
‘Sully, I need to tell you why I really came back. And you’re not going to like it.’
51
FRASER
‘I need to come clean about something,’ Josh admits, over a beer. ‘It’s about Audrey.’
Here we go.‘We don’t have to get into this,’ I say. I know how he feels. I’ve probably always known. But do I actually want to hear him voice it in so many words?
‘It’s not what you think,’ he says, downing several mouthfuls for courage. ‘I mean, it is. Obviously.’ He frowns into the glass. ‘Always.’
Is he forgetting we aren’t talking about some random woman here, but the one I almost married?
‘That’s not what I want to talk about, though,’ he clarifies. He may look polished in his designer suits and flashy accessories, but there’s something desolate about the way he’s propping himself up on the bar, as if the weight of what he’s carrying is beyond his strength.
I tap my fingers on the countertop and check my watch. ‘Aren’t we years beyond this?’
He shakes his head. ‘I wish we were. But this is about Ridges, and that summer.’
I’m hit with an instant flash of anger.
‘Josh, I know this story. He stole her piece. She confided in you. You promised you were in her corner. He bribed you withthe recommendation for the Vienna position. You let your ego win. You two had a falling out, and our mother has blamed Audrey ever since—’
‘No, I’d already been offered that position in Austria.’
Well, that makes no sense.Why would he sell her out if he didn’t need to?
‘She’d written this incredible piece. She was the outlier, not just in her own year but our whole cohort. But she was plagued by this pressure cooker inside her head telling her she wasn’t ready. She never believed in herself. Thought every success was a fluke. It made her an easy target.’
‘For you?’
He winces. ‘For Ridges!’
I let out a low breath. The way he’s describing her rings so true, my chest clenches that he knew her this well, long before I did.
‘So, what, you rode in on your white horse, intending to save her from her own impostor syndrome?’
