Dahlia is laughing so hard she’s crying, clutching a pillow to her face. “I’m going to make you both pay for this when I see you,” she squeaks out.
“Love you too, sis,” Ava singsongs.
“Get it, girl!” Erin says.
I finally manage to end the call with my toe. Silence, except for our hysterical breathing.
Dahlia wipes her eyes.
“Come here,” I mutter, climbing back onto the bed. “Round three. I’m locking the phone in the freezer.”
We’re just getting back into it—properly this time, rhythm on point, Dahlia’s nails skimming over my chest, my hand between her—when the phone starts up again. This time, it’s “Whatever It Takes” from Imagine Dragons, meaning my brother.
I groan so loud it echoes. “Ignore it.”
But Dahlia, evil woman, reaches over and hits accept before I can stop her.
“Tully!” she chirps, way too cheerful for someone currently riding me.
“Dahlia?” Tully sounds confused. “Did I call your phone? Why do you sound like you’re?—”
“Doing cardio,” she supplies breathlessly. “Lots of cardio.”
I mouth,You’re so wrong, and she grins like a demon.
“Uh, cool,” Tully says. “Is Dylan there?”
I snatch the phone. “Tully. I love you, but we are literally in the middle of making your future niece or nephew. There’s a cock-block sale going on today, and you’re all buying into it.”
There’s a beat of silence, then Tully whispers, “Oh shit, right now?”
“Yes!”
Dahlia is biting her lip to keep from laughing.
“Carry on, soldier,” he says solemnly and hangs up.
Dahlia and I stare at each other for half a second before we absolutely lose it, foreheads pressed together, shaking with laughter. I’m inside her, and we’re giggling like idiots, and it’s perfect.
Until the phone rings again.
This time it’s the theme fromThe Golden Girls, which means Grandma Nancy.
Dahlia actually screams: “Noooo!”
I answer with one hand, still moving slowly because I’ve decided we’re finishing no matter what at this point. “Grandma, everything okay?”
“Dylan! Tully just told me the good news about your baby-making shenanigans! I’m so excited. You’re coming home in a few days, yes? I’ll make Lutheran Jell-O just for you two. The one with the shredded carrots and peas and the little marshmallows. Very fertility-inducing.”
Dahlia makes a strangled noise and buries her face in my neck to muffle her laughter. Her whole body is shaking so hard I’m getting performance whiplash.
“Thank you, Grandma,” I manage, voice cracking. “That’s…really thoughtful.”
“Okay!” Grandma Nancy says brightly. “Chop, chop. Practice makes babies! Kiss kiss!”
She hangs up.
I drop the phone off the side of the bed like it’s cursed. Dahlia and I look at each other, tears streaming down our faces.
