By the time we settle into the cabin, my nerves are shot. My emotions have run the full gamut today, and it’s not even noon yet.
The cabin is beautiful. It’s not the one we stayed in before and has different furnishings and colors. I appreciate that they’ve made each place unique. There are still soft blankets and cushy throw pillows. A giant stone fireplace. Big windows overlooking the lake. But this one has a painting of a kayak out on Lake Superior at sunset that is so captivating, I want to sink into the picture.
I can imagine, as a guest coming every year, I’d want to experience each cabin before settling on a favorite. And then I’d request it every year, even moving around travel dates to ensure I’d get that one. It’d be more about the memories made there than the actual surroundings, but staying in the same place would help re-create that feeling.
Even in the short amount of time I was with the Whitmans, I could see how close-knit they are. I felt somethingsimilar as a kid when I went over to my friend Lana’s house for a sleepover. I had never been around a family that seemed to adore each other so much. It filled me with such longing that I started crying, and they drove me home. My mom thought something bad must have happened, and I couldn’t put into words that I’d just seen what I’d been missing. We weren’t the kind of family that did vacations where you spent a lot of quality time together. There were no talking-over-the-campfire experiences or playing games late into the night, laughing over private jokes while we ate our favorite family recipes.
So I settled for stability, relying instead on numbers and facts. Anything based on feelings would come up short.
My mom has provided the steadiness, and my dad has provided the tumultuousness, both loving me in their own way. I don’t begrudge them for their limits, but I want so much more for Chloe.
I’ve learned as much about parenting from my parents about whatnotto do than what to do, and for Chloe, I hope to show her more of the latter.
The Whitman family—I’ve never experienced that kind of closeness. I didn’t know that was possible with so many people.
I sink onto the couch and lean back.
Dylan drops down beside me, his knee brushing mine, and exhales like he’s trying to clear an entire day out of his lungs.
“Well,” he says dryly, “this has been intense.”
I swivel my head slowly to look at him, too exhausted to even lift it off the couch. “Too many things in one day.”
He laughs softly, then reaches for my ankles and pulls my legs across his lap so he can trace circles on my shin. It’s grounding, and sweet, and exactly what I need.
“I love this town,” I say suddenly, surprising myself. “I knew I would, just from driving through it the first time, but…it’s so much better than I thought.”
Dylan smiles at me. “Good. I knew you would.”
“Your family is amazing. And this luxurious cabin in the woods—it’s so romantic and dreamy. I mean, people probably come here and really do that.” I point at the picture, wide-eyed.
He glances at it and grins. “You’ve never kayaked at sunset?”
“Never.” I gesture around wildly and laugh somewhat maniacally. “This doesn’t feel real.”
“Pinch me.” He smirks. “Anywhere you like. That should tell you something.” He leans closer. “I like a firm hand. As you well know.”
I snort. “Even in the midst of trauma, your mind is in the gutter.”
He leans closer and kisses the tip of my nose. “Don’t you dare call your pussy the gutter, Doll,” he says sweetly.
I burst out laughing and then cover my mouth, listening to see if I woke up Chloe.
And then, like I have all day, I’m jolted, remembering all over again that things with my dad have blown wide open.
“What is that cloud that just crossed your face?” Dylan asks.
“I’m so sorry my dad did that to you. And why now? Like…what tipped him off?”
Dylan shifts uncomfortably. “I…forgot to tell you this earlier. Everything was happening so fast.”
“What?” I ask, a new dread creeping in.
“He said he got a call from Christian.”
I sit up straight. “What?”
He rubs the back of his neck. “He didn’t go into detail, but yeah. Christian called and told him about me.”
