“I vote for the nice shit. Tessa deserves it.” Dixon lumbered over to a different cabinet, yanking it open and appraising the contents. Stacks of gleaming white dishes trimmed in thin gold lines stood beside faceted crystal cups. We hadn’t picked those out. They were better suited for an upscale wedding than a bunch of clumsy, constantly drunk rockers.
“Please don’t,” Tessa whispered. Though quiet, her voice cut through our noise.
We all turned to look at her. She’d made herself small again, backing into a corner. Josie wiggled in her arms, apparently sensing her owner's apprehension. Tessa glanced down at the struggling animal and bent her knees, lowering closer to the floor before allowing the cat to jump down. She straightened back up slowly. Her movements were achingly forced, as if it took all her willpower to rise back up again. Without her securityblanket, she stood there like a lost soul; all the vibrancy we’d momentarily seen before entering the kitchen had vanished.
“What can we do? How can we help?” I wanted to rush forward, but I knew sudden moments were the wrong move right now. The air shifted, the scent blooming for each of us responding to the different emotions now swirling through the room.
She didn’t respond. She just stared at us unblinking.
Her sweet Omega scent was poisoned by apprehension and sensory overload. As if someone had thrown witch hazel and yarrow into the mix, the jasmine and cedar which normally clouded around her became mildly astringent. Tessa was constricting, folding in on herself.Why had I thought this was going to be easy?When she’d responded so calmly to our pleasure room, I’d imagined she’d make herself at home in no time. Looking at her now, I knew that was never going to be the case. She was undeniably tough as nails. We’d all seen the way she’d held her ground with the Eros delivery agents. But she was also delicate. We had to take things slow, instead of overwhelming her with a thousand food choices and fancy dishes.
Around me, Dixon, Mac, and Tray were poised for action. Their aromas were feverish, laced with notes of protective rosemary and rue. Herbaceous, mildly citrus. Our kitchen bloomed with a garden, different responses to the situation colliding. Even though we weren’t bonded to her yet, it was obvious that our pack was already prepared to defend our Omega, no matter what.
“Tessa,” Mac’s calm, rational voice broke the silence with careful precision, “tell us exactly what you need right now. Forget about everything except for what you want.”
Leave it to him to talk a jumper off the ledge. He hated his childhood, often saying his strict, religious parents made life suffocating, but he couldn’t deny that something in his upbringing had molded him into a levelheaded, nurturing man. I’d caught him once or twice praying, one hand clutching the cross he always kept hidden beneath his shirt. He was the best of us, and I don’t think Dixon or Tray would fightme on that fact.
"This is..." Tessa tried to speak, but her voice trailed off.
"Too much?" Mac asked quietly.
She nodded, mouth trembling. God, if she cried again, we were all going to lose it.
Dixon moved suddenly, snagging a paper plate and piling it with sushi. He snagged disposable chopsticks next, snapping them apart with one hand using his index and thumb before rolling them expertly to loosen any slivers. As he walked towards her with the offering, Tessa seemed to turn green.
“Oh, God, not sushi,” she groaned. “I’m so sorry. I know I said I’d eat anything, but not seafood.” She clapped a hand over her mouth before pointed animatedly at the floor. Dixon turned to look down, finding Josie trying to nose a cabinet open to explore. He glanced back at Tessa, realizing she literally might be sick if he kept the plate near her, and then he quickly padded over to the cat. He squatted down, giant thighs stressing out the tight black jeans, and he placed the plate on the floor.
“Guess you don’t need chopsticks,” he said, giving her a quick pat before standing up. He faced Tessa again, holding the utensils with both hands. “I thought—” he snapped the chopsticks in agitation, then looked down at them apologetically. He sighed, dropping the broken sticks onto the island before restarting his sentence. “I thought if I just picked for you, it might take the pressure off. Leave it to me to pick the one thing you’d hate. Stupid.” He hit his thigh to make amends.
“Oh, no. That was sweet,” she assured him.
Seeing Dixon beat himself up seemed to pull Tessa back out of her shell. He looked at her hopefully.
“So, you don’t like seafood?” I asked, using the opportunity to learn more while trying to distract her enough that she wouldn’t shrink inward again. Her scent was normalizing, softly floating towards us and calming our Alpha instincts.
She turned those stunning blues towards me. “I know I shouldn’t be picky,” she gave a sad little laugh. “What right do I have? You guys didn’t have to go out of your way like this. I was told my needs would be met here, not my preferences.” She looked over at the takeout variety. “All ofthe food is amazing. For more than twenty months, I’ve survived on discards or charity.” She hesitated when she said ‘discards’, choosing the word carefully to avoid mentioning the unfiltered truth.
Dixon didn’t let her sugarcoat. “I don’t understand how you ended up eating out of dumpsters, Tessa.” His voice was pitched low. I knew that tone. A wave of ferality was threatening. “You’re a goddamn Fortune.”
She shuffled her feet, looking up at the ceiling for a heartbeat before answering.
“I used to wonder that all the time.” Tessa finally left the corner. She moved slowly, sandaled feet noiselessly gliding across the tile. She stopped directly in front of Dixon.
He looked down at her. She only stood as tall as his pecks. We all watched as she lifted her petite hand to cup his large face. He leaned into her touch, eyes fluttering closed. They stayed that way so long that I felt jealously ignite in my chest. A vibration started in my throat; it built to a possessive rumble. Fuck, I wanted to deck Dixon and yank Tessa away. I wanted to claim her, here and now. Sink my teeth into her pale, supple neck and lean my mark. My body felt too hot. I pulled at the collar of my shirt, trying to flutter a breeze against my skin. I had to swallow this insanity down. It wasn’t like me. Jesus, was this how Dixon felt when his Alpha nature went off the rails? Tessa and I may have once shared a kiss. But that was then; this was now. She wasn’t that carefree, screaming fan. I wasn’t that devil-may-care rocker always looking for the next thrill.
No one seemed to notice my own brief struggle against savagery. Tessa was lowering her hand. Dixon had opened his eyes, and he seemed totally at peace. He hadn’t looked that way in months. Tray and Mac seemed totally relaxed, unbothered by the exchange.
“Fruit,” Tessa addressed the room. “I’d literally die for just, like, a bowl of really fresh berries. And—” she hesitated, fidgeting with her dress.
“Forget about everything except what you want,” Mac repeated his earlier words, giving her courage.
Tessa began speaking again, and what spilled out of her was a torrentof things she’d probably been swallowing down for far too long. Her voice wavered as the words tumbled, tone rising and falling.
“I’d like to go sit on that giant sectional in the living room until my muscles atrophy. I don’t want to ever sleep in a box again. I don’t want to fall into a dumpster trying to reach something potentially edible. I don’t want to go a week between showers because the shelter only opens them to the public on Wednesdays.” She gasped for air, the words expelling so fast she couldn't breathe around them. “I don’t want to worry that Josie will get sick and I can’t afford a vet. I don’t want to have nightmares about my family dying horribly in that plane crash and then being pushed out of the only home I’ve ever known because the government suspects freaking tax evasion!”
She stumbled forward, like the only thing that had been keeping her upright was being filled with all of these horrible things she’d experienced since her world burned down.
“I want... I want... I want,” Tessa hiccuped on the words, her body shaking, “I want my mom and my dad and my brothers back. I want to meet my little sister. They were going to call her Josephine. I want to laugh at Uncle Harry’s stupid jokes and eat Aunt Lori’s gross black bean brownies. I miss all of them. Uncle Jim with his stupid mustache. Aunt Jane with that one weird mole. All my little cousins. I should have gone on that ski trip. I should have died with them, but I was selfish. So, fucking selfish. I chose a concert.Yourconcert. And everything fell apart.”
