Having a heat that ramped you up then vanished... It was like hours of waiting at the free clinic, only to be turned away because closing time arrived. So, you go the next day that they’re open, and you wait again, and you get turned away again. Over and fucking over.
The lab technician Beta had called it something the first time I was here at The Institute...was it called dry heats? Whatever it was, itsucked.
My body was falling apart. My emotions were ragged. My mind was a mess. I couldn’t keep sleeping inside of a damp appliance box, shivering under tattered blankets, privacy violated by fat, stinking rats anymore. It was breaking my spirit.
What little spirit I had left.
When I parted my lashes, I was determined to be the victor. I couldn’t afford to lose Josie, or the Alpha match. I smiled sweetly up at the Beta, trying to disarm him. I mean, I’d won over that perky Beta named Mister Love, though his twin brother was a different story.
I think maybe Mister Grouse interpreted my controlled breathing and following smile as signs of impending capitulation.Maybe I’d lostthe will to fight. Maybe he could push a little more and finally force submission.He was wrong, but I gave him points for soldiering onward. He stood erect, returning his glasses to their rightful place, and then peered down at me from his new, lofty angle. He crossed his arms imperiously before breaking the silence. God, this Beta really had a power complex. I’d met his kind before, so damn desperate to be an Alpha.
“Are you finally seeing reason?” His tone was so condescending that now I didn’t want to laugh, I wanted to punch his smug face.
“No.” One word; I smiled wider as I said it, trying to sound innocently dense.
His gaze tightened and his posture stiffened, but he tried to hide that knee-jerk response.
“Then, we are at an impasse.” He shrugged, as if it didn’t matter to him at all if I walked away now. Assuming I could pay the exorbitant fine for breaking the contract. Newsflash: I couldn’t. They knew that. I knew that. But the Beta was moving into the devil-may-care portion of his performance. Then would come the pleading. And soon, we’d be back to a yelling match. Honestly, we were on a carousel ride that neither of us could truly exit, even if we wished to do so.
Cute. I’d try the cute angle. That use to work magic on my parents. They’d never grounded me as a kid, even if I broke every rule in their book. Bat the lashes, apologize, say exactly what they wanted to hear.
“Look, it’s just one teensy-weensy cat. She barely takes up space. See?” I scooped Josie up off my lap and held her like a fur muff. She obligingly went limp noodle to warm my hands and wrists. Her purrs grew louder, filling the space. I loved that sound. That sound had saved my sanity more than once. It’s why I couldn’t and wouldn’t leave her behind. “When I went through initial testing, she was even allowed through decontamination into the lab area.”
“Even if our agency gave permission, thisparticularclient certainly wouldn’t. They’re well known for never budging when it comes to their rider.” The Beta shook his head, almost pouting as if he was‘terribly sorry he couldn’t accommodate my request’.
I really wasn’t sure what the hell a rider was, but they were going to budge this time if they wanted me.
“Have you even asked the client?” I tilted my chin and raised both eyebrows. He’d dodged this question once already.
“We do not need to ask the client. Their file clearly states that the matched Omega should arrive with nothing but the clothes on their back. Her back, in this case, per their gender presenting preference.” The Beta shoved his glasses up his large, sharp nose with one finger. The specs barely budged. How could you shove something further up when it’s already at the top? He dropped his hand and flexed his fingers after that useless gesture, looking unsure of what to do. After an awkward moment, he balled both hands into fists and pressed them against his hips. The pose was giving superhero. All he needed was a cape... to inevitably get caught in a plane turbine and yank him to his untimely demise. I wouldn't mind watching that happen.
“All I’m asking is that you call the client and see if they’re willing to change their mind.” I let my voice shake a little, cracking the door on the floodgates I was tenuously holding back. I could give him crocodile tears easily. All I had to do was imagine leaving Josie behind.
His superhero stance melted, hands falling to his sides. His eyes widened just a fraction, as if I’d finally done something which sent him off script. He stepped around his desk, closing the distance between us until he stood right next to my chair. He lifted one hand and rested it lightly on my shoulder.
My nose involuntarily wrinkled as a lemony pine cleaner stench ribboned through the air. Mister Big Bad Beta Grouse was wearing a scent enhancer, one of those artificially doused bracelets street vendors sold to folks wishing they could be something they weren’t. Betas always thought the grass was greener on the Alpha-Omega side. They were wildly misinformed.
I’d trade places with a Beta in a heartbeat. Being part of the no-scent normals would be far better than being an Omega. Society almost always pushed one future our way:find a scent match, bond with them, and push a few pups out.A scent match might lead to a large pack of bonded pairswith a head Alpha and Omega. Or a scent match might be scent ‘matches’ instead and the pack could be an ‘all for one, and one for all’ type deal. It was becoming less common these days, but Alphas and Omegas could form monogamous bonded pairs too. The end goal was always the same though—match, mate, pup. If my life were different, if my family were still alive, then I’d be on that precipice of change when an Omega begins to feel the clock ticking. Not always from herself, but from everyone around her—You’ve had your heat a few years, and you’re not getting any younger. Don’t any of the Alpha young men at the parties smell good to you? Yes, college is an option. A lot of Omegas meet their perfect scent match that way! Isn’t it exciting, Tessa? Imagine if you match with multiples!
Like ‘more’ Alphas would be hitting solid gold. I could barely take care of Josie and myself, let alone juggle being the perfect Omega for more than one scent match.
If an Omega had real artistic talent, they could delay all ofthatwithout judgement. I couldn’t paint well. I’d always been a terrible actor. Hell, I couldn’t even lie without giving myself away. I wasn’t a terrible singer, but only the shower deserved to hear that noise—not that I sang in the shower anymore; you had to wash quickly at the shelter.I’d danced some in high school, only because I had to have an extracurricular. I was never very good. Still though, if I had any real talent… Society put such a premium on entertainment. Alphas and Omegas could be stars. Outside of the creative sector though, unbonded Omegas were prohibited from a lot of jobs and encouraged to apply themselves in ‘nurturing’ fields. Like we’re all supposed to be soft, motherly creatures without a single fierce bone in our bodies.
An Omega CEO dominating a boardroom? Unlikely. Political rising star? Forget about it. High ranking military officer calling the shots? Nope. More doors opened once an Omega mated, but then came the pressure to pup.
Not that I’m delusional enough to think Betas have it made. How many times had I heard some stupid Alpha badmouthing the Beta caterers at my parents’ big parties? How many times did even I laugh at pathetic, egotistical jokes made at a Beta’s expense? So many Alphasand Omegas thought of Betas as lower-class. Admittedly, I fell into that category before… I lost everything.
Now? To me, they were freer than I could ever be. They could have dreams. Within certain industries, they could start a business. They could go to school and teach Beta kids. They could enter any number of ‘helping’ class jobs to serve Alphas or Omegas, or bonded packs. And building a family seemed so much easier too. They didn’t have to worry about some ‘perfect’ scent match. They could simply like each other enough to marry and build a family. If they never wanted to marry? That was okay too. That sounded like utopia to me.
No, scratch that. Paradise to me these days would be a proper bed, air conditioning, a shower more than once a week, and maybe two guaranteed daily meals.
The Beta wasn’t saying anything. He just kept his hand on my shoulder. It felt like a vice, though his fingers were loose.Why did everything feel too heavy? Too tight? Too much? My world was breaking again.
“Look at her. She’s an angel.” I held Josie up, her vibrating body still wrapped around my arms.
“That’s out of the question.” He almost sounded… sympathetic. Awkwardly, he gave my shoulder a weak squeeze, as if that tiny morsel of comfort could replace the one family member I had left.
“ThenI’mout of the question.” I clutched Josie a little tighter. She was part of me—the part that kept me going, the part that kept me alive. I refused—absolutely refused—to let her go. I was willing to risk my future. I wasn’t willing to risk hers. Period.
