Firm fingers curled around my wrists, tugging my hands back down. I didn’t fight them, letting my arms drop and go limp against my lap. I opened my eyes, looking down at the two different hands still holding onto me. Mac, cleanly manicured fingernails. Dixon, chipped black nail polish. They were seated on either side of me now. I hadn’t even felt the mattress move when Dixon left the floor.
“Tessa, we’ve never talked about it, but we know you’re a virgin,” Ryder’s voice pushed into my bewilderment. I blinked slowly, shifting my gaze to his face. “Omegas in heat can benefit from sex, but being in heat is also confusing as hell. It happens to us too, with our ruts. Just a damn mess of pheromones and lust. Dixon’s right, we should have seen the signs.”
“I can’t blame you for not seeing them,” I admitted, feeling wilted. “My cycles have been all messed up. A Beta at The Institute said I was having dry heats due to stress and malnutrition. There was no way to guess. Even if I’d suspected, I probably would have written it off as a false start again.” I gave a little shrug, as if my messy past was no big deal.
“Well, it’s not a false start,” Ryder soothed. “So, what do you need?”
“Anything, Tessa,” Mac added.
“All you have to do is ask,” Dixon’s deep voice thrummed.
"I don't—" My voice caught as another wave of heat rippled through me. "I want you all here, but I'm not ready for... everything."
They exchanged glances, communicating silently. Mac's thumb traced soothing circles on my wrist while Dixon's grip remained firm, anchoring me against the rising tide of conflicting emotions.
"No pressure," Ryder assured me, his honey eyes soft with understanding. "Your heat doesn't mean we have to mate. We can just be here for you."
“But I did want you. I wanted you all. Only moments ago.” I sighed. “My head is just a mess.”
“It’s okay, Tessa. We’ve got nothing but time. Whenyou’re?—”
A thunderous crash from the hallway interrupted Ryder. Startled, we all stared at the suite entrance. Seconds later, Tray burst through the doorway, arms laden with blankets, pillows, and what appeared to be every soft thing he could find in the mansion.
"Fort supplies!" he announced triumphantly, dropping his haul onto the floor. "And I hunted down every piece of candy in the house!” He lifted his right arm, a shopping bag slung from it.
The scene was so perfectly ridiculous—the mountain of items at Tray’s feet and the joyous enthusiasm on his dimpled face as he pulled a massive chocolate bar from the bag—that every feeling except for happiness was exorcised from my body.
For the first time, there wasn’t a single doubt in my mind.
I was safe.
A few hours later,I was wearing the silkiest pajamas ever and thickly cocooned inside the fluffiest, softest collection of bedding a person could imagine.
I was also surrounded by stuffed animals which Tray had same-day delivered to the house from a local store. When I’d asked about the toys, my golden retriever Alpha had simply shrugged and said his sister had a thing for teddy bears. I had to admit, the polka dot stuffed elephant was particularly cute. As soon as the guys left the room to get me hot cocoa, another snack, and heat supplements, I’d pulled the elephant closer for comfort.
“What should your name be?” I mused out loud, playing with its legs. “Dot? No… Ella?” I scrunched my face, think. “I agree, that’s too on the nose.” I twiddled with the stuffed trunk. “Peanut.” I decided, even though it was by far the dumbest choice.
I tucked the stuffed animal against my side, staring up at the ceiling for a moment as a fresh wave of intense cramping knotted my insides. My face felt warm, but fever hadn’t fully set in. I pressed the back of my handagainst my forehead. Tonight, or tomorrow. I’d be able to take a cool bath when it happened at least; that was something I never had on the streets. Somehow, I knew, without proof, that this was going to be an actual heat. Mine normally lasted seven to nine days before I was homeless. It was always wild mood swings and pain for the first half, morphing into crazed sex drive once the discomfort faded. I was a little nervous about how bad this heat would be, though I knew its arrival was a good thing. It proved that my body was healing thanks to my Alphas’ tender care.
“This is pretty amazing, isn’t it, Josie?” I shifted a little so I could look at the cat that had helped me endure so much. “No box. No newspapers. Not going through it alone.”
Josie was curled against a pillow within arm’s reach, purring gently. I reached out and stroked my palm down her back. She was fluffy, freshly brushed by Tray, and wearing the collar I’d painstakingly earned back in Seattle. I could get her a better one now. Heck, I could get her the best. But it was a reminder of things I’d been through, and I didn’t want to replace it. Not yet anyway. The collar did now sport a new tag though. The mansion’s address. The landline phone number. Josie belonged here as much as I did.
“I can’t decide if we’re insanely lucky or fate is just revving us up for another heartbreak,” I whispered out my worst fear. “I love it here. I didn’t want to love it, because then I had more to lose again. It’s been hard enough living scared every day that I’d lose you.” I tickled between Josie’s ears. She lifted her head lazily, doing one of those adorable kitten yawns. She blinked slowly, giving me a brief stare before going back to sleep.
I should be more like her. Just go with the flow. Take a nap and make the best of our situation. If everything was ruined tomorrow, at least we had today. But… it couldn’t be ruined tomorrow. Because now? Now I couldn’t imagine a life without Ryder, Dixon, Mac, and Tray. They’d rooted inside of me, touching every shadowy corner of my heart and soul. My heart beat a little faster and irrationally I needed to see my Alphas. I needed to verify they were alive, even though I’d just seen them moments ago.Stupid brain. Stupid broken brain.
Yet, as if I’d been screaming for them soundlessly, they arrived back to the suite right as I began to spiral with anxiety.
“We’re out of mini marshmallows,” Dixon grumpily said, voice announcing his return a heartbeat before he came into view.
“That’s okay,” I sat up a little, propping the pillows against the headboard and trying not to jostle Josie too much. My pulse was still quickened.They’re right here. They’re fine. Stop being so silly.I told myself harshly.
“It’s definitely not.” Dixon scowled. “Hot cocoa is trash without the mini marshmallows.” He moved to the side of the bed, setting down the mug.
“Dixon, I spent my last sort of heat in a box on the streets. Hot cocoa served to me in bed is the lap of luxury.” I gave him a soft smile. “And I don’t need anything. Just you guys. Maybe…” I hesitated, would they think I was being dumb? “Could one of you stay in the suite with me? I mean, don’t all leave at the same time. Please?”
God, that last word sounded so childish. I was being an idiot.
