Oh, fuck. My heat.
After worrying and waiting and never knowing when it might strike, it finally had. My Omega perfume flooded outward, glands in overdrive. I could sense the change in it; woodsy jasmine now threaded with marshmallow root and ginseng. It’s how I always smelled, when all I wanted was safety and comfort. If I managed to gain those, then I became ravenous for sexual release.How long had it been since I could nest properly? Spend my heat feeling secure, loved, and nourished?
Mac placed me gently on the bed, as if worried I might break. My Alphas looked at me, their own passion now tinged with concern. The air around us altered more as their bodies instinctively geared towards protection. Sweat beaded on my brow as my stomach clenched painfully. I placed my hand against my abdomen, cringing. It wasn’t usually so painful, but my cycles had also been so out of whack living on the streets.Dammit, why couldn’t it have waited a little longer?
“Tessa?” Ryder’s voice was soft, uncertain. “Tell us what’s going on.”
“We can sense something changed.” This from Mac. “Are you hurt?”
“What do you need?” Dixon growled, dropping to his knees next to the bed.
Tray hovered in the background, brown eyes warmer than ever.
“It’s nothing bad,” I managed, “It’s just,” I felt awkward saying it, but these were my mates. And having healthy, normal heats was important to our future together. “I’m in heat?” I swallowed hard, pressing my hand hard into my belly as yet another cramp hit. “I’m not sure why that sounded like a question.”
“Fuck, we’re stupid.” Dixon clamped a hand over the back of his neck. “All the signs were there.”
“That’s not important right now, Dix. What do you need, Tessa?” Ryder asked gently.
Tray was already bouncing on the balls of his feet, ready for a mission. I probably would have laughed at his boyish energy, if I wasn’t currently dying.
“I’m not sure. Homeless while in heat means limited options.” I swallowed down my embarrassment, “But even before that, I just took care of myself. I could order anything I needed. I didn’t need anyone to…” My voice cracked, and I had to stop speaking. I remembered my mom during my first heat. She’d helped me pile pillows up, put on my favorite movie, and we’d laughed while eating out of a ridiculously big bowl filled with chocolate ice cream. The stupid bowl was yellow, made for rising bread dough. I remembered her stroking my hair gently, welcoming me to womanhood. Tears filled my eyes. I hated that. I wanted to be doing something different right now. I absolutely didn’t want to be crying.
“You’re not homeless anymore,” Dixon said fiercely, taking my hand and lifting it to press against his cheek. “You’re not alone. You don’t have to take care of anything by yourself now.”
“We’re all here, Tessa. We all love you,” Mac’s voice was thick with emotion.
“Blanket fort,” Tray suddenly said, hand in the air triumphantly. “My sister was a raging nightmare during her cycle, but she taught me the fine art of building a kick ass blanket fort.”
Without further explanation, Tray jolted out of the room.
No one spoke for what felt like an eternity. The buzz was gone.
“Points to me for really terrible timing,” I frowned, angrily swiping away hot tears.Was this why I’d been feeling so amorous earlier? Was it why the world had seemed unfocused? Why was I such a damn wreck now?
“No, it makes sense.” Mac was sitting on the bed next to me. He began rubbing gentle circles against my back. “I honestly thought I was going to need to call the clinic. Started regretting canceling the last treatment. I’ve felt a bit…” he paused, searching for the right words. “wild the last few days.”
“Glad it wasn’t just me,” Dixon admitted. “I almost broke down the suite’s door last night. I woke up soaked in sweat, dick hard as a rock.” He blushed, titled his head down a little and looked up at me through hooded eyes. “Sorry, Tessa. That was crude.”
“Honest though,” I pinched his chin and gave his head an affectionate little shake. When I went to pull my hand away, he grabbed it quickly, wrapping his much larger hand around mine.
“What do you like when you’re in heat, Tessa?” Ryder was kneeling in front of my legs. He stroked up and down my calves. Each time his hands brushed my knees, there was a little hesitation, as if he had to remind himself not to rub higher.
I blinked around the room, trying to grasp at clarity while the world stayed out-of-focus. The cramping was already growing less intense. The white-hot desire I’d felt out by the pool was rising again to replace it.
I want them. I need them.
No, I’m better off alone.
I want them inside of me.
No, tell them to leave. I want to be alone.
Take me. Knot inside me. Mark me.
God, what is wrong with me?
I shook my head, lifting both hands now to press against my face like I could hide that way. How did I tell them that I wanted them to fuck me, but not fuck me? I wanted them to be rough, but also gentle. I needed them to touch every part of me but also touch nothing. I felt desperatelyalone, wishing they’d wrap me up in their arms. Yet, I also wanted them to burrito wrap me in blankets, put on a good movie, and spoon feed me stupid ice cream.
