Tessa pretended to consider this, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, tempting, but I think I deserve some payback for wasting an hour making flash cards you didn't need."
"They weren't a waste," I said, my voice dropping lower as I moved closer still. "I got to watch you make them, didn't I?"
She rolled her eyes, but the blush creeping up her neck told me she wasn't as unaffected as she wanted to appear. "You're impossible."
"Part of my charm."
"Is that what you call it?" she asked, but there was no bite to her words.
“Charm, mojo, charisma, sheer animal magnetism.”
She picked up the pillow and I braced for impact. She hit me square in the chest.
“You got me!” I pretended to die, flopping forward against her. She giggled, and tried to push me off.
"Get off me, you big oaf," she laughed, but her hands lingered on my shoulders instead of pushing me away with any real force.
I propped myself up on my elbows, hovering over her where she'd sunk back into the couch cushions. The playful atmosphere shifted again, the air between us crackling with tension. Her laughter faded as she looked up at me, those blue eyes darkening.
"Tessa," I breathed, my gaze dropping to her lips before snapping back up to meet her eyes.
"Yes?" she whispered, her hands still resting on my shoulders.
“Is this okay?” It wasn’t the question I wanted to ask. It wasn’t—Can I kiss you? Can I hold you? Can I have you forever?
She nodded slowly, her fingers tightening on my shoulders. The smell of her was making my head spin. I lowered myself carefully, giving her every chance to change her mind, to push me away.
She didn't.
When our lips met, it was gentle at first—tentative, exploring. But then she sighed against my mouth, and something inside me snapped. I deepened the kiss, one hand sliding into her hair, cradling the back of her head. Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer, and I felt her heartbeat racing against my chest.
Time stopped existing. There was only Tessa—her soft lips, her warm breath, the little sounds she made when I changed the angle of the kiss. I wanted to devour her, to mark her as mine, but I forced myself to go slow. To savor. When my right hand began to move down her side and toward her hips, I felt her body stiffen and I smelled the way her scent began to shift.
From enjoyment to hesitation.
I was doing too much. Too fast. Too soon.
It took everything in me to pull away from her. Tessa’s cheeks were flushed, hair mussed where my fingers had tangled in it. She looked dazed, her lips pink and slightly swollen.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kiss you like that. I only meant to…” I didn’t know what to say. I felt like I’d done something inexcusable. We’d all vowed to not rush her.
“It’s okay.” She lifted a hand to cup my face. “Can you move? We have a movie to watch.”
I was grateful when Josie padded into the living room, hopping up onto the coffee table to sniff the apples and peanut butter. It gave me and Tessa something else to focus on in the wake of the kiss.
39
MAC
ELEVEN DAYS AFTER TESSA’S ARRIVAL...
No amountof cooking and baking was going to take the edge off. Having Tessa here was wonderful, but until I’d mated with her and marked her body, my decaying Alpha stability was only worsening.
Should I go for another treatment?God. I just couldn’t face that. I couldn’t take the pain again. It was midafternoon. The house was too quiet for my liking—Tessa taking a nap, Dixon in the gym, Tray at the library to study, and Ryder locked up solo in the studio working on a hook—so I’d turned on the stove’s overhead vent to add a white noise hum to the room while I methodically worked. Usually, it would be too much. Sensory overload with the eggplant sizzling in the pan and the fridge buzzing, but I’d found lately that burying myself in various distractions was better than giving myself silence.
Silence let the thoughts in.
Silence made the need peak.
