“What?”she asked, sounding dazed.
“You’re looking at me like you don’t believe me.Or like you’re trying to find some reason to pull apart what I said.Don’t pull it apart.Just take the compliment.”
“I was just … never mind.”
“You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
She felt as if her heart were being torn in two.“Clark.We have to raise a baby together.”
“Yeah.I know,” he said, taking a step away from her.“But I’m glad I got to kiss you.You know, I always imagined it would happen at night.Our first kiss.”
“You thought about our first kiss?”
“Hell yeah,” he said.“I figured it would happen at night.Maybe during a thunderstorm.There would be lightning, and the earth would shake.But yeah.You’re right.We’re raising a babytogether.And that’s the most important thing.But I’m glad I got to do it.”
She took a step away, her throat feeling tight.She was good at this.Self-denial.She was good at doing what needed to be done, and stepping away was something that needed to be done.
She and Clark didn’t know the first thing about relationships.Not real, long-term ones.Not the kind that made families.
It was so tempting.
Her urge to take a kiss and turn it into a whole lifetime was exhibit A about why they couldn’t make it as a couple.The stakes would always feel too high.The risk would always be too great, and the probability of failure would always be too likely.
“I gotta go to work.”
“I need to drink my coffee.”
“I’ll see you later.”
She brooded for the rest of the day, and in the late afternoon she stood on the back patio, watching as gray clouds rolled in.
I thought maybe it would be during a thunderstorm.
She tried not to dwell on his words.
She wondered about the psychological reason behind that kiss.Was it just that they were a man and a woman living in a house together, attracted to each other, and looking for a connection that felt so familiar?That felt like it was the recognizable shape of a family?
Was it just hormones?
Or was it something deeper?
Something that had been stirring inside her for longer than she was letting herself admit.
Thunder rolled, and it echoed through her.She thought about what he’d said.
About the lightning striking.That’s what his kiss had been like.
He’d always felt off-limits.She’d told herself that was why she’d been so attracted to him.
Why sometimes when they went to deal with their siblings, she’d imagined immediately booking their own room in that rent-by-the-hour motel and burning off the heat between them.
That was why her brain hounded her with intrusive thoughts about him.
Because those thoughts were taboo.
Now she’d let herself kiss him, though, and her longing was more than just the lure of the forbidden.It was chemistry such as she’d never experienced before.
She sighed heavily, turned, and went back into the house.Marjorie was cooing in her little baby swing, looking up at the dangling cherries and bananas on the mobile above her head.The little swing was set up right in the living area, and Marjorie was beginning to enjoy watching everything.
