But becoming Marjorie’s father was a miracle.Maybe that meant there could be more.
Or maybe it meant he’d had plenty.Wasn’t ever going to have another in his lifetime.
After all, he’d already improved his circumstances financially.Wasn’t it a little bit greedy to want it all?
“Oh, I thought I heard something.”
He looked up and saw Ellie standing in the doorway, wearing a large T-shirt that just covered the tops of her thighs.
God Almighty.
“Hey.You don’t need to wake up,” he said.“My job right now.”
He needed to keep his distance from her.Because even in the dim lighting, she was far too beautiful for his own good.Evennow, he was torturing himself with quick, full-color fantasies that he had no business having about her.
“It’s fine,” she said.“I wasn’t sleeping very well anyway.”
“Any particular reason?”
“This whole situation?”She sighed.“I want to do the best I can for Marjorie.I want to be better than my family, that’s for sure.My parents weren’t the family I wanted.”
He laughed.“I don’t blame you.I’d like to send mine back too.”
“But we have Marjorie.And we have each other.”
That squeezing sensation in his chest grew more intense.“Yeah.I’m grateful for that.”
He finished feeding Marjorie the bottle, and Ellie walked toward him.His heart went tight.She reached out and took the baby, cradling her gently to her breast.Then she looked up at him, and his eyes dropped down to her mouth.They had a baby between them right now.They always did.He was beginning to wonder if they were purposely avoiding moments like this.Avoiding the change that might come.How one touch could transform something innocent into something a whole lot more.
“I can take her back upstairs.She’ll need a diaper change.”
“Yeah,” he said.“Sure.”
She turned away from him and started up the stairs.He held on to the counter, trying to calm the raging heat inside his body.
This was over the top.There was too much going on.He couldn’t afford to be reacting to her this way.
Was it unresolved childhood longing?A deep need to finally have the love he’d wanted back when he hadn’t felt worthy?
But that wasn’t a good reason to kiss her.
Lord Almighty.
He was a grown-ass man with tons of experience.Getting wound up about a kiss seemed stupid.
Getting bothered about a theoretical kiss, one that existed only in his mind, that seemed even more stupid.
But here he was.Obsessing about what it would be like for his mouth to touch Ellie’s.
He was going to have to go out and find sexual partners so he didn’t spend all his time obsessing about her.
The very idea made him feel uneasy.
He didn’t want somebody else.
He wanted her.If he were honest with himself, he’d wanted her for a very long time.
His body had reached its limit, apparently.
