“Ah.” I scratched my head. “Yeah, I’ll let her know. I’m sure she’ll be flattered to know what a jerk she is.”
“I’m so mixed up because I want her to be happy, and if this is what she wants, then I want her to go do it and be happy. Want her to run across the world and never see me again if it makes her happy. But… it pisses me off so much.” She groaned, dragging her hand over her face. “But I’m sure it’s just as bad for you. You really like her, huh?”
“Well…” I looked away. “It’s never been… serious. I mean, it can’t be.”
“She’s a good person. Probably too good. That’s why she pisses me off.” She stood up taller, grinning. “And for revenge, I’m going to tell you whohergay awakening was.”
“Oh. I guess it’s something she doesn’t want you to tell people about.”
“Absolutely not. It was Princess Peach from Super Mario when she was, like, five.”
I put my hands over my mouth. “That’s so cute.”
“I had to get her really drunk to admit to that,” she laughed, turning away. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair so Jade will come back. Good luck with Daniela. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you! We townsfolk gotta stick up for each other, after all.”
Right… I guess that was us. The people of Paxton Ridge. Daniela, Cat, and me. And not Jade.
Jesus, I needed to stop dwelling like that if I didn’t want to spiral.
Jade showed back up not long after Cat was gone, and we made small talk for a bit before, the event quieting down now,I lowered my voice to pass along Cat’s message, and she smiled sadly at the floor, and then up at the ceiling.
“What a jerk,” she said. “Trying to make me sentimental.”
“Ha. You two have a lot in common, talking like that.”
“I’ll need to send her something. A parting gift.” She put a hand to her forehead. “I need to get some fresh air… and we probably shouldn’t spend the entire event stuck together if we want to be subtle. I’ll be out in the car.”
“Oh—do you still want to… er…” I wavered, embarrassment prickling at my face, and she stopped, giving me the sweetest smile I’d ever seen.
“With you? Always.” She touched my arm, casual and tender, and she turned away. “See you whenever you’re ready, Alyssa.”
Jesus, I always lost it at the way she said my name. I laughed something small and nervous as she left, and I drifted through the rest of the event with my head full of fantasies, talking to the others while my mind was outside in Jade’s car. Back in Jade’s house, joining her for candle making.
And in the cold reminder every time I saw Daniela and visualized the promise I’d made Cat. The thought of telling her—of admitting to everything—made me feel so small and so rotten inside that I wanted to curl up until I disappeared, and I think she could tell something was bothering me when I was talking to her, because she turned away from her group before long and gave me that look full of concern that I really wasn’t deserving of, but I assured her everything was fine and that I’d just had a little too much to drink.
And I told myself everything was fine, too, and I thought maybe I could gaslight myself into believing it, at least until I’d retreated to the bar for a drink and saw a shape sliding in next to me, and turned to see Drew there giving me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Hey, girl,” he said, putting an arm around my shoulders, which was the first sign he wasn’t happy, because Drew not going in for a full-fledged hug was the rough equivalent of somebody else telling you they hated you and never wanted to see your face again. “How are things going for you and Daniela?”
“Oh—good.” I stood up straighter, pushing out a laugh. “Yeah, you know, just… the usual. Hoping to stop mooching off her house soon. I’ve been seeing some promise in the job search the past week, so I’m feeling optimistic.”
“Yeah? Back to Boston?”
I tensed, feeling cold. “Oh, um… I mean, we’ll see.”
He picked his drink up off the bar, tapping one finger impatiently against the glass even as he kept a smile my way. “Oh yeah? Where else are you looking?”
My throat tightened. The pointed tone in his voice was very… it made it clear what he wasn’t saying. “We’ll see,” I said again, feeling even weaker now than it had the first time. “I’m casting a wide net. I’ve actually been talking to Linda recently,” I laughed nervously.
He laughed. “You’re talking to Lindaandto Cat? You’re like Switzerland over here.”
“I dunno. I’m friends with both of them. Charlie too.”
“Charlie?” He laughed, a pointed gleam in his features. “Yeah, she’s been talking about you.”
“Oh yeah?” I didn’t like that. He nodded, taking a big gulp of his drink and setting it down, holding the glass tighter.
“Most of us have always really supported Linda and Charlie, but I guess it’s not a surprise you’ve taken Jade’s side.”
