Right… this was important. Something I needed to pull myself together for. I smiled at her. “Thanks,” I said. “I hope it doesn’t lead to you losing friendships or anything like that, though. I can attest that it sucks.”
“Ha. Yeah, I believe it. Sorry again for being weird about stuff.”
“Please. Let’s leave that in the past where it belongs. I wasn’t exactly approachable either.”
“But I’m really glad we’ve gotten here. Do you think Cat would be cool with me just seeing her too? I don’t want her to think she’s just here as your accessory.”
“Oh.” I paused. “She’s been looking for someone to go shopping down in Burlington with her, but I hate clothes shopping, so I’ve been disappointing her. If you wanted to go with her for that, she’d be ecstatic.”
“Oh, damn. Making it easy for me,” she laughed. “Pass along that I’m interested? Actually, I’ll just text her myself and tell her you put her on blast but that I’m an angel so I’m happy to go with her.”
“Uh-huh. I’m sure she loves self-aggrandizement.”
She laughed. “Thanks. Only problem is whether we’ll actually come back or if we’ll just be clothes shopping together until the end of time. Can I give you a hug?”
“Ah… sure.” I stepped in and squeezed her in a quick hug. “Thanks, Daniela. I’ll see you around at something soon, I’m sure.”
She smiled sweetly at me. “See you, Candle Girl.”
“Ha. I’m not making you any more candles.”
“I take it back. Please forgive me.”
I’d consider it. I wasn’t forgiving myself, though. Not for getting caught up with Alyssa like the dumbass I was. It hungover me all the way to drop off Cat at her place and get back home, and I wasn’t really conscious of anything until I found myself lying in bed staring up at the ceiling.
I should have let her touch me. Now I was going to spend forever wondering what it would have felt like. But if I had, I would have spent forever missing it, so I guess damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I needed to pull myself together and be normal, but fuck, for tonight, I could give myself a mulligan. My body was aching for her, and I felt it like electricity as soon as I put my hand down on my thigh, a moan escaping my lips.
“Dammit, Alyssa,” I whispered, voice trembling in the room as I worked circles on my skin. Remembering what it had felt like to be wrapped up in her, how these same fingers had been inside her…
It wasn’t long before I had my bottoms on the floor, cast aside as I slipped my fingers between my thighs, and I arched into the touch, already seeing stars. My thoughts were flooded with her, fantasies of those eyes she’d been giving me earlier, heady with desire, the scent of her perfume wrapped around me, and I think I lost my mind, because somewhere along the way, I left the room to rip the lid off the box of scent samplers. I brought the wax melter back to the bedroom and flicked it on with one of the samplers I’d been trying to scent-match to her perfume, and I crashed on the bed as Alyssa’s scent filled the room, slipping into pleasure as my hands found myself ready and needing.
I’d feel guilty about it tomorrow. For tonight, I’d feel what I wanted.
Chapter 21
Alyssa
Ialmost froze up at the sight of Daniela in her own kitchen, guilt clinging to me like a physical weight. She turned back and picked up her phone, turning down the music when she saw me hovering like a creep at the corner.
“Hey,” she said. Her voice sounded a little heavy, and part of me panicked that it was because she knew what I’d done. Hadn’t we been obvious? I’d been kicking myself for the past twelve hours, and I hadn’t even been able to text Jade this morning like I always did. What was I supposed to say?
“Good morning.”
“Turned into a vampire and you need to be invited into the room?”
Okay, maybe we were all right. She more seemed… disappointed. By something that wasn’t me. Definitely not angry. I forced a smile. “May I enter?”
She picked up a head of garlic and waved it in my direction. I laughed, even though my heart wasn’t in it, and we went through the motions of normalcy as I joined her in the kitchen for breakfast. We made small talk and avoided the subject of yesterday’s… double date, but once we sat down together with food and a tall coffee from her Chemex that I was learning toappreciate, she poked at her food in a way that looked like she was miles away, and I couldn’t help myself.
“What’s eating you?” I said, and she shrugged.
“It’s really nothing…”
“Vampires can tell when you’re lying. Supernatural senses.”
She took a big bite of sourdough bread and chewed it moodily, staring into space, before finally, she set it down and said with a sigh, “I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up in the first place, so mostly, I just feel stupid.”
My stomach dropped. She wasn’t talking about Jade. She didn’t know Jade and I had our… um… encounter. “What do you mean?” I said, hoping my voice came out neutral.
