Oh, I take it as a strict responsibility to be the worst I possibly can be.
I grinned, shaking my head.You’re a pro, Jade. What were you actually contacting me about?
It took longer than it should have for her to write a short reply.Are you available to talk right now?
I hesitated.I was about to drive, but if you don’t mind, we could call?
Sure,she sent, and then,All the better to make sure you’re not driving into anything.
After a couple more back-and-forth texts, she called, and I set the phone back in the mount and answered. “Hey, Jade,” I said. “How are you doing?”
“Ugh. I’m good.”
“That didn’t sound good…” I started the car, and she sighed.
“Just… thought I’d answer your question,” she said. “From the café.”
“Er… remind me what my question was?” I said as I backed out of the parking space, asphalt lit by streetlamp glows.
“You asked me why Cat’s trying to find a way to move forward and I’m not.” I heard something moving on the other side, and I frowned.
“Okay… are you in the middle of something? I hope this hasn’t been haunting you or anything.”
“Just candles. Don’t worry about it. I fulfill some orders for them online, so I’ve been spending the evening catching up with orders.”
“Oh, nice. Side hustle.”
“Don’t taint it with those words,” she laughed. “Just nice to know people like what I make. Mostly it just helps cover the fund I use making them for gifts. Well… not a lot of gift-giving in my future now. Which brings me back to my original point,” she said gruffly. “Don’t tell Cat about this, please. But I figured you were right that it’s safe enough to trust you with things, and… I don’t know. Just felt right to tellsomebody.”
“Yeah, of course,” I said, my heart beating a little faster now. Maybe it was because she was closed off to begin with that made me really want Jade to like me. “You can tell me anything, I’ll keep it secret. I know I can’t take it when I have to bottle something up from everybody.”
“I can tell. You like to talk.”
“Okay, well, I can tellyouare not overflowing with conversation at every turn, so one of us has got to keep the words flowing,” I said, teasing her back, and she took it in stride, laughing quietly—she had this deep, dark laugh that was kind of… well, it was inappropriate to think it for a lot of reasons, but it was kind of sexy.
“Okay, okay,” she said. “So… I’m thinking of leaving Paxton Ridge.”
“Oh, Jesus.” I gripped the wheel tighter. “Seriously? Because of the whole…?”
“It’s not just that,” she snapped, and I winced.
“Right. Sorry. Of course. I don’t mean to reduce it.”
“No… there’s nothing to reduce. It’s not like I gave you any context clues. Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude.” She sighed, and I heard her stop doing whatever she was doing with the candles. “It’s that. And it’s also more than that. I’ve been wondering… for a while, honestly, if this place is right for me. It’s sort of come on slowly. I’ve been… retreating… into my little corner of the woods, going to fewer of the events. Don’t know. I’m not a socialite. And I guess everything with Cat and Drew just pushed me over the edge.”
“God, that sounds exhausting,” I said quietly. My stomach sank slowly. The ink was still drying on the alliance Cat and I had forged—I’d only just found out Daniela’s feelings for Candle Girl were mutual, set out to get them together, and now this?
“Exhausting?” she said, and I shrugged, turning a corner. The roads were quiet tonight, which was nice, but it did give my mind more room to spiral.
“Going through all of that. Questioning your place in a community you’ve been for years.” I paused. “Having to keep it all to yourself, too.”
“Huh.” She was quiet for a second, tinkering idly with whatever she was doing on her side, before she said, “Yeah, maybe. Guess I do feel tired. But yeah. Just thought you should know.”
“You’rethinking of leaving,so probably not like, you’ve already got a ticket booked to… I don’t know, California, right?”
“Yeah, no,” she said with a small, dry laugh. “I’ll have to find a new job somewhere. I mean, it’s local government work,so everywhere has openings, but it’s a matter of finding where the work doesn’t seem too boring and where I’ll get paid enough, and how long it’s going to take to get through job applications… so, it’s not fun.”
“Mm.” This really wasn’t my business to be involved in, anyway. I was an outsider who’d been here for two days. But I couldn’t help wondering if it was just that anyone would want to leave after feeling as rejected as she did. And if maybe… if maybe I could help patch things up and it would be better for everyone.
