“I’m a grownup. I can handle it.” And I wanted some of her story to help distract me from myself, but I wasn’t saying that.
“All right,” she said, and she paused before she said, “If you’re sure. But you don’t need to worry about any of it. Don’t feel like you have to fix things. I know how you are!”
“Hey,” I laughed, but I didn’t fight it. Mostly because she was right. I took a bite of the food while she started, and I almost missed what she was saying because of how much the flavor hit me. Jesus, she was good at cooking.
“Jade was never the most… in the group,” she said. “I think I mentioned she was a little introverted. So she was always off kind of… doing her own thing, a little bit. But she still came around the Birdhouse every now and then, and she was especially close with me and another mutual friend, Cat. Cat was more involved with organizing things at the Birdhouse, but she was very particular about how things would get done, and she and Drew butted heads over some of the organizing decisions.”
“And they fought over that?”
“Eh… basically. There was a series of events that Cat wanted to bring in some outside help for, pay contractors instead of volunteers, start monetizing things a bit to pay for it. Drew’s always wanted to keep it close to home. But Cat eventually crashed out and went off telling everybody all these terrible things about Drew behind his back, and when it got back to him, there was a huge fight. Cat stopped coming around, and Jade stopped coming too, in protest, solidarity with her, I guess. But, you know, it’s not a big town. There’s only so much we can do to avoid each other around here. So I’ve still bumped into Jade a bunch, and I’ve tried to talk to her, but she’s very touchy about the whole thing, so she basically told me off.” She groaned, shrugging over-dramatically. “Charlie told me I need to let it goand stop trying to get involved in things, so I’m trying to ignore it and let it blow over. But I admit I still feel like a mess, a little bit.”
I chewed my lip, mulling it over, poking at the food in thought. “But you still like Jade.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, we were good friends for like a year. I think I told you most of it when I was gushing about her and crushing hard, like, we’d been hanging out occasionally, and she invited me over to join her for candle making, and we had these long evenings out at her house where I would bring elaborate meals trying to impress her, we’d sit out on her deck and talk about whatever, and we’d make some candles together. I swear we almost kissed one time, but she suddenly changed course, and I was spending like two weeks overanalyzing it so much I felt like my head was gonna explode. So don’t you go overanalyzing it, too, or your head is gonna explode too!” She huffed, putting a piece of toast in her mouth, and she chewed it moodily. “So, yeah, I mean, I still like her. But she has no interest in me. So, whatever. My feelings will pass, too, if she keeps pulling away to do her own thing, anyway.”
“Do you think things might go back to normal?” I said. “You know, with Cat and Jade and everything. And then things might be better with Jade again?”
“I dunno. I doubt it. She probably has a grudge against me for not also boycotting the Birdhouse in protest or whatever.” She sighed. “I don’t want to talk too much about it. I feel so embarrassed.”
“Oh, sorry. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you. Just…” I shrugged. “I want to know what’s going on around here. You know, to know the dynamics.”
She smiled sweetly at me. “Yeah, ‘cause you’re a sweetheart. Don’t worry, everyone likes you. Linda said you’renot as annoying as she thought,which is a really high compliment.”
“It doesn’t… sound like one.”
“Ah, you know Linda.”
I guess I did. It wasn’t actually all that surprising, from the ways she’d described Linda before and then from meeting her last night.
We spent a few minutes talking about the party, about the gossip and all her friends, small talk that didn’t approach the topic of Jade again, as we finished up breakfast—I ate just a little too much, and I felt a bit bloated, but I couldn’t help it, not when she made food likethat.My god.
“You’re an actual genius,” I said, pushing back my empty plate and settling back in my chair. “How are you so good at cooking?”
She grinned. “I told you I was.”
“Yeah, but, you know, I thought you were just self-aggrandizing!”
She laughed, standing up. “Feeling too full?”
“No, I’m.” I blushed, looking away. “Maybe a little. How could you tell?”
“I just assumed because my cooking is worth getting bloated on. C’mon. A big meal and then a leisurely walk is the best thing for your mental health.”
“Okay, I guess you can be my therapist.”
She flashed a grin. “That requires licensing. Let’s go withlife coach.Way more sketchy.”
I stood up with her. “All right, Coach, lead the way.”
A few minutes later, we were bundled up in our coats and out in the dense trees behind the house, and I followed close behind Daniela as we walked, breathing in the crisp early-spring air. The trees were still thin and bare in places, the first blossoms still just poking up, and the air was flush with birdsong, and walking out in fresh air with the sound of our boots on the dirt path mixing with the gushing sound of a stream nearby, it filledmy mind until it pushed out all the heavy, angry thoughts I’d woken up with. Once we were perched on a band of gray stone, with a sweeping view of the blossoming foliage spilling out down the hill below us, Daniela shrugged off her backpack and took out a thermos and two cups, pouring a drink out into one and offering it.
“White tea?”
“Ooh, fancy.” I took the tea and cupped it in both hands, smelling the soft sweet aroma. She poured herself one too and cupped it close—it wasn’t quite cold anymore, but the air was crisp enough that the wind blew frostily, and I sipped the tea for warmth against it before I said, quietly, “Thanks.”
She laughed. “All right, enough thank-yous. I won’t have you thanking me a million times.”
“I’m grateful for this!” I said, nudging her side. “At least… tell me something I can do to make it up to you. You even cook everything. What am I going to do, scrub your bathroom?”
