‘Hm, just so long as they clean up after it and I don’t find dog hairs everywhere,’ he said and again Amber grinned.
When she and her uncle had eaten, Amber spent the rest of the evening in the kitchen with Biddy, Mrs Carter and the puppy and by bedtime the new addition to the household had all three of them wrapped around her little paw.
‘I might sleep in here in the chair with her tonight,’ Mrs Carter mused as the puppy finally fell into an exhausted doze on her lap. ‘If it’s her first night away from her mother she might fret and I don’t want her disturbing Mr Harding.’
‘Of course not.’ Amber stifled a grin as she winked at Biddy over Mrs Carter’s shoulder, and then she set off for her evening stroll along the front.
She had gone no more than a few yards when she glimpsed a young couple strolling arm in arm ahead of her and when she looked more closely, she saw that it was Daisy and young Archie who worked in her uncle’s shop. They were staring into each other’s eyes, clearly absorbed in each other, and although she was pleased for them, Amber felt a little pang of envy and smiled sadly at the thought that because of the illegitimate child she was carrying, no one would ever look at her as Archie was gazing at Daisy. Once they knew that she had had a child out of wedlock she would be classed as soiled goods and shunned.
Suddenly all the pleasure had gone from the evening and turning about abruptly she made her way back to her uncle’s with a heavy heart.
Chapter Eight
August 1845
Barnaby leant down to kiss his wife’s cheek and tried to present her with the roses that the gardener had just picked for her, but she turned her face away and pouted.
‘I don’twantthem,’ she said peevishly, pushing the flowers away. ‘The scent gives me a headache.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, my dear, I didn’t know.’
Mrs Ruffin frowned at her young mistress. In fairness to the master, he was doing everything he could for her, but nothing was ever good enough for her. In fact, she scowled at him the second he entered the room and once again Ruffy felt quite sorry for him.
‘Now there’s no need to sound so ungrateful, lass,’ she gently scolded. And then to the master, ‘Why don’t you get one of the maids to put them in the hallway, sir? They’ll look a treat in there.’
‘Er?.?.?. right, Mrs Ruffin, I will. But is there anything you need, Louisa?’
She turned her head to glare at him her hand resting on the mound of her stomach and he hastily backed away.
‘Very well. I’m just going to the shipyard; I have a few things I need to see to so if you need me, I’ll be there.’
‘Why would I needyou?’ she said cuttingly.
Realising he wasn’t welcome, Barnaby hurriedly left the room.
‘You were a bit harsh on him weren’t yer?’ Mrs Ruffin remarked as she plumped up the cushions on the chair Louisa was sitting on at the open window.
‘Serves him right!’ Louisa answered curtly. ‘Just look at the state of me. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel pretty. I’m just a fat blob now and still some weeks to go!’
‘That’ll pass in the blink of an eye. Now put your feet up on this stool. We don’t want your ankles swelling up again, do we? An’ then per’aps after lunch we could take a stroll round the gardens. A little bit of exercise will do you the power o’ good.’
‘What! And have the gardeners staring at me as if I’m a beached whale! I thinknot!’ Louisa snorted, working herself up into a tantrum.
Ruffy sighed as she collected up the clothes that needed washing. As much as she adored her young mistress there were times lately when she had tried her patience to the limit, so without another word, she swept out of the room leaving her to it. Hopefully by the time she got back Louisa would have calmed down a little.
Later that afternoon the doctor called in to see that all was well and as before he was mildly concerned. The child’s heartbeat wasn’t strong and Louisa was only weeks away from giving birth. He could only pray that this pregnancy wasn’t going to end in yet another stillborn baby because he knew how much it meant to Barnaby to have a child. Still, it was out of his hands, all he could do was keep a check on her and hope for the best, but as he left, he wasn’t feeling optimistic.
*
Once he had concluded his work at the shipyard, Barnaby rode his stallion up to the ruins of Whitby Abbey and tethered him to a tree before going to sit and look out to sea. He usually found a measure of peace here but today it eluded him as he thought of his wife’s attitude earlier in the day. She clearly loathed being with child and as much as he hated to admit it, he now realised that it wouldn’t be fair to put her through it again, which meant that if this pregnancy didn’t end well, the intimate side of his marriage would be over forever and he would never have an heir. He sighed as he watched the waves breaking onto the beach far below him, while the seagulls swooped and squawked above him. There had been a time when he had been so smitten with Louisa that he could think of nothing but her, but over the years his feelings had changed. Once he had found her spoilt nature amusing, but now he found it irritating. Looking back, he couldn’t remember ever holding an intelligent conversation with her. Her head was too full of the latest fashions and the characters in the romance novella’s she was so fond of reading.
But none of that, he knew now, could excuse his abominable behaviour towards young Amber Ainsley. She had been as pure as the driven snow the first time she had lain with him and had loved him unreservedly, asking nothing in return – unlike Louisa, whose demands for fripperies were constant. And when that had resulted in her being with child, he had callously ordered her to get rid of it as if that little life had meant nothing. Only now did he realise how wrong he had been to do that, because that would have been his child just as much as the one Louisa was carrying, even if it was illegitimate. Time and time again he had stifled the urge to go to Scarborough and track her down just to apologise and make sure that she was all right, but each time he had found some excuse to put it off; probably, he admitted now, because he was so ashamed of himself.
Suddenly he made a decision; her brother Will had told him where he might find her uncle’s shop some time ago and once he had tracked that down he knew he would have no trouble finding Amber. He would go to see her as soon as possible – tomorrow in fact – and he would beg her forgiveness. He would also see that she had ample funds until she returned to work, and he would promise her that he would never again take advantage of her. He couldn’t expect her ever to forget how badly he had treated her or what he had put her through, but that would be a little salve for his conscience at least. Feeling slightly better he strode back to his horse and after springing lightly into the saddle he turned him in the homeward direction.
He had barely entered the hallway when he met Mrs Ruffin coming down the stairs to fetch a cool drink for her mistress and she asked if she might have a private word with him.
‘Of course, Mrs Ruffin, come into my office.’ He still found it hard to address her as Ruffy, despite the fact that his wife and the rest of the staff did. ‘So what seems to be the problem?’ he asked once the door was shut firmly behind them.
