‘You’re right,’ she moans, tongue still wedged. ‘You’re so calm. How are you so calm?’
I scan the room for Warren and find him on the couch talking to all three of the Hannahs and Niamh. It did give me a little thrill when their eyes nearly fell out of their skulls when they saw what he looks like in person, out of basketball kit. Sorry, girls, you can have him in a couple of years. He spies me looking, and blows me a kiss, which shatters their hearts. Oopsie.
‘What will be will be,’ I say.
I realise in my scanning that I’ve not seen Carys at all since we got here. Several of the men are on the other side of the cube-shaped bar from us – Patrick, Billy (who will forever be the teeth guy to me) and one of the other guys who I didn’t even remember – with Bridget who is flirting up a storm.
Daniel, the guy who tried to guess my weight like a hog at the county fair, barely even said hello, and is over in the corner talking with Zack and Jackson about macros and weighing their shits or whatever red-pilled gym wankers talk about.
‘You’re looking for Carys?’ Whit asks and I sense the hesitation in her voice.
‘Why’d you say it like that?’
Whit licks her lip. ‘The booze is making my mouth numb,’ she says, but I’m pretty sure that’s a lie.
A roving camera comes close, stopping at us, and I turn to wink down the lens, which I’m not supposed to do but fuck it.
‘Yes, I was wondering where she is,’ I say steadily. ‘Lina too.’
‘Do you think we should go look for them?’
‘I think you need to finish your daiquiri, talk to a few other people and then swan over to Malachi to let them both know that you’re actually cool with them talking.’
‘But I’m not really,’ she says glumly. ‘I feel like a bad feminist.’
‘Fake it, babe.’ I give her a kiss on the cheek. ‘I’ll be right back.’
I do a quick circle round the room, but I don’t find either women, so head to the toilets. If in doubt, you can always find someone hiding out in the ladies’.
What I didn’t expect to find was Lina furiously making out against a sink with a blond man who is decidedly not Zack. They don’t even notice me come in. Their microphone packs are turned off, strewn at their entwined feet.
My own secret bathroom liaison partner isn’t in here with them. I could leave them to it, but I don’t want the cameras to find them.
I close the door behind me, and they spring apart, lips rubbed red from kissing.
His eyes are the kind of bright blue that you only find in oversaturated teen movies. ‘Cobey?’
He gulps. ‘Hello.’ It’s clear he doesn’t recognise me.
‘You’re not in trouble. It’s Dolly.’
‘Oh gosh!’ He bounces a little, like he might want to give me a hug, but is still glued to Lina.
I don’t blame him. I set my clutch bag down on the dry bit of sink top. ‘So…’
‘Please don’t tell on us,’ Cobey begs.
‘I literally would not dream of it. This is actually really nice to see.’
Lina’s cheeks are bright from all the frantic kissing, but so are her eyes. Finally, the old Lina is looking back at me. ‘I made a terrible mistake.’
‘Yes,’ I agree. ‘Now what?’
‘I’m leaving. With Cobey. We’re getting out of here.’
I raise my eyebrows. ‘Before the altar?’
‘I can’t stand another second with Zack.’ Her fists clench at her side. ‘He’s just such a… such a…’
