@pisswizard:you’re thinking of Slave4U not Toxic @wishiwasachair but yeah it was kinda serpentine writhing tbf
Despite the fact we’ve somehow only been here a little over twenty-four hours, we have to pack to leave as we’re already done here. I’m not complaining. I’m glad to go, especially after last night.
And now, we sit outside post-breakfast waiting for the Nguyens to come for one final chat, and to announce the winners of the Pulse Race Challenge.
Patrick is so hungover he can barely sit up. Hopefully it means he doesn’t notice I’m drowning in guilt. I go into caretaker mode, forcing him to drink sips of water, stroking his forehead, going through the motions of being a good partner.
Everyone looks worse for wear, so I guess Zack’s shots game took multiple prisoners.
I don’t look at Dolly.
The Nguyens arrive in matching white linens, like they’re heading off on their own holiday. They do a bit of spiel to the camera, mostly talking about what a great ‘week’ we’ve had in Greece. I’d never thought about how reality TV shows manipulate time before, but it’s so blatant.
‘And now, time to announce the winners of the Pulse Race Challenge, who together raised the pulses of everyone the most,’ explains Karina for the audience at home.
‘The winners are…’ Lucas pauses for effect. ‘Malachi and Whit!’
Wow, their second win in a row. To be fair, I think all of us knew that Whit beat the rest of us girls hands down. I’m not sure I can look at firefighters the same way again.
But still, that’s two wins, and two first choices in a row.
‘Malachi and Whit win a…’ Lucas does a little drum roll on his legs. ‘Matching set of Mr and Mrs dressing gowns.’ He turns to camera. ‘Just like the ones you can buy on theWedded Blissshop, for wedded bliss in your own home.’
Oh. Well. That’s pretty nice but seems like a major letdown compared to winning something for the wedding. While Malachi and Whit seem quietly pleased, everyone else seems a bit nonplussed.
‘There’ll be more opportunities for our couples to win things for their wedding throughout the coming weeks, all the way up to their wedding day,’ Lucas adds when he sees the sea of deflated faces.
‘We’re so glad you’ve had a wonderful time here,’ says Karina, smiling. ‘But remember, only a few days ago we warned you that getting physical would yield fines to the groups’ wedding funds.’
‘And we can confirm that there were several breaches of this rule,’ Lucas says seriously.
My heart thunders in my chest. Please, dear God, please say no one saw us. Or heard.
Patrick is pale, but I think that’s still just the hangover. He whispers, ‘Wow, okay,’ and laughs, looking at the others with his mouth hanging open with overblown shock. It almost feels worse that he has no clue that he might be about to find out I cheated on him in front of all our friends. And the Nguyens!
Lucas clears his throat. ‘Let’s get to it, shall we?’
‘Our cameras caught at least one act of masturbation from…’ Karina pauses for effect while we reel at the news that someone was jacking off in here.
‘Zack,’ says Lucas.
‘I knew he was a wanker,’ murmurs Bridget next to me, and I have to bite down on my lip so I don’t laugh.
‘Sorry, dudes, I’m not about to let my nuts go blue for a few quid!’ Zack laughs.
Whit screws up her face in, not quite disgust, but some kind of pity. Poor Lina looks as if she’d quite like to disappear.
‘And in total, the fine is three thousand pounds,’ Karina adds.
Lina makes an inhuman noise you could roughly categorise as a frustrated groan by way of death rattle. ‘Zack,’ she hisses. ‘For a wank!?’
I never thought I’d hear Lina Chen saywank.
‘It’s just three grand, babe,’ he insists. ‘We’ll just cut something I want. Get a less good DJ for the afters.’
‘Err, Zack, the fine is spread across all five couples,’ says Malachi awkwardly. ‘You basically just cost us all… Um—’
‘Six hundred quid,’ groans Whit.
