Chapter Thirty-Two
Alex
Alex isn’t sure where he’s going when he gets up and leaves, but the autopilot leads him there anyway. He’s now made a total fool of himself and hurt Jess, when he was desperately trying to avoid doing that, and there’s only one person who can help him make sense of it all.
‘Nathan’s on a call,’ his secretary tells Alex. ‘I’ll let him know you’re here.’
Alex sits, but that instantly feels wrong, and he stands again. He paces a little in the small hallway. Counts forty-one steps. Nathan’s secretary looks at him over the top of her glasses.
‘Can I get you anything?’ she asks. ‘Maybe a glass of Scotch?’
Despite himself, Alex smiles. ‘Sorry, sorry. I’ll sit.’
She smiles tightly back at him.
‘But maybe a tea.’
He doesn’t need a tea. But he does need something to do with his hands, and that seems like a good solution. Although the secretary doesn’t look thrilled when he takes longer than necessary stirring in the sugar he neither wants nor needs. Sweet enough – yeah, right.
‘I’m sure Mr Thomas will be ready for you soon,’ she says. Perhaps trying to convince herself that she only needs to be patient with Alex for a little while longer.
‘Sorry,’ he says again. He sips his tea; he bounces his leg. And at last, Nathan pokes his head out of the door to his office.
‘Alex,’ he says. ‘This is a nice surprise. I was just about to pop out for lunch. Want to join me?’
He sees his own gratitude reflected in Nathan’s secretary’s face. Walking to Pret feels like something his limbs need. Being cooped up in an office probably wouldn’t do him any good.
‘So,’ Nathan says, holding the door for Alex. ‘I’m guessing this isn’t just a friendly catch-up.’
Alex gets straight to the point. ‘I’ve messed up.’
‘Jess?’ Nathan does not sound surprised. Resigned is probably more like it. Ready for another round of this seemingly interminable drama.
‘Yes.’
‘Tell me.’
Outside in the sunshine, Alex feels unexpectedly exposed. ‘We were – you know. Getting close. Which, I assume, was part of your plan.’
He catches the hint of a smirk playing across Nathan’s lips. ‘I can neither confirm nor deny the accusation without the presence of a lawyer.’
‘I thought as much.’
But Nathan clearly has no interest in lingering on the part of the story where he might be to blame. ‘So what did you do?’
‘I said a mean thing. And then instead of apologising, or staying to talk it through, or even giving her a chance to walk away, I’m the one who walked away.’
‘Wow. Impressive.’
‘I know.’
Alex is saved from further judgement by their arrival at Pret and Nathan’s scanning of the shelves. ‘This Pret is always running out of hoisin duck wraps,’ he says.
‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ Alex says, with only a little sarcasm. He’s not a monster, after all. He understands the struggle of the out-of-stock favourite lunch just like anybody else.
‘Thank you. I appreciate your sympathy at this difficult time.’
Hoisin duck wrap notwithstanding, they eventually find a satisfactory set of lunch items, and, miracle of miracles, an empty table.
